Rex Ryan Reynolds lyrics

Growin up I never bought an off-brand belt
I was white but always balled like Scott Van Pelt
Germaphobic German girl want firsts on my bratwurst
She know I'm a take care of that body like I'm Bob Durst
Girls I meet say "Hey I heard a lotta your stuff!"
Then she repeat it line for line just like Melania Trump
She wants her to be next
She texts urgent requests
She want a Patagonia vest and a paternity test

One two three, everybody look at me
I tried to get more famous changed my name to Kennedy
Four five six, everybody look at this
I think my music's really sick
So if you don't know me then you should
Should Rex Ryan call you over, stay put
Don't let him within two feet of a foot
Same with Bill Cosby

My sales up so we got a
Yacht at the regatta
Your girl generous me da medulla oblongata
Fresh tuna, tu no habla
Hakuna Matata
Girl whatchu need besides this p*nis and a Pina Colada
I hit up CVS, picked up the prescription for my cocaine
$69.69 was the copay
(Thanks Obama!)
But still my bros play croquet
And leave a mess all over the front yard like OJ
One two three, everybody, look around
I just failed outta Princeton probably shoulda went to Brown
We got cloud nine down
My sh*t up on SoundCloud
Paid my agent thirty thou
But if you don't know me then you could
I keep a log of every morning wood
No Ifs Ands or Butts, I am never tryin' anal
But if it's with Ryan Reynolds
Then I would
"Wood" rhymes with "would"

Ok I saw this pretty girl, so I walked up to that ho
And I realized that she wasn't that hot up close
In fact I realized that she was pretty ugly
And I also realized she was your girlfriend
I never had that problem my girlfriend is so attractive
She ran track b*tch
Drop it lower than a white wide receiver draft pick
Check your brackets
I pay more taxes than the parents of these lax kids

RG3, think I need to take a knee
I tried to get more famous so I banged a Kennedy
Six six six, motherf*ckers look at this
I was born with two di*ks
And if you didn't know that then that's good
But you should Google Image search "Diphallic" take a look
Or go on Reddit look up "Double di*k Dude" read his book