Mario & Link (Original) lyrics

[Intro]
Oh no, not another one
You're completely ready and prepared for this, yuh

[Verse]
Mario's never getting none and Link's never getting some
So why would princesses love me, man?
I'm not really making moves I'm just kinda breathing
I work at f*cking pizza places just so I keep eating
That's the type of sh*t
To make me go and smoke a f*cking pack of smokes a day
That's the type of sh*t to make me ask my father "You okay?"
That's the type of sh*t to make be buy a flask for 25
And fill it up with taaka vodka only 4.99
That's the type of sh*t to make me write a song and f*cking pray
That this one is better than the one that I wrote yesterday
Or yester-year yes-sir-please let me get the recipe, to not being broke
Boy, I'd really love to be a king but Mario and Link
Should've showed that perseverance is not the end all to everything
The princess in the hallway in a robe
And I asked "do you like coffee and scones and she says "No!"
But I just killed a f*cking dragon though!
With this sword that I made from the words of my soul
I just killed a f*cking dragon though, I just killed a f*cking dragon though
But it's whatever, I don't even f*cking care