Krobus Is Hot lyrics

[Verse 1: Arin Hanson]
Just inherited this place from my grandpa
Looks pretty chill, livin' simple on this little farm
Stardew Valley's gonna f*ckin' rule, so
I'll plant some strawbs and some bloobs
And they'll start to grow
All of my neighbors are a buncha hotties
I'm feelin' like I gotta focus on some more pilates
A Don Quixote-lookin' f*cker
Just gave me a key
I use it on the sewer door, what the f*ck do I see?

[Chorus: Arin Hanson]
Beautiful Krobus, wonderous Krobus
Never seen a thing as beautiful as you
Shadowy demon, got my di*k and balls screaming
Gonna bust a nut and then I'll
Fall into a river of p*ss now

[Verse 2: Arin Hanson]
Blacked out
Wake up to the show Queen of Sauce
Grabbing feed for my little chickens like a boss
Okay, Marnie's gone for the day
Looks like my little chicken friends are going hungry, but
Cracking gems in this mine's a blast
Holy sh*t, a motherf*cking dragon's flying at me fast
They eat my flesh, I scream and cry and pass out
And right before I sh*t myself, I think about
[Chorus: Arin Hanson]
Obliterating Krobus, just ravaging Krobus
Aggressive butt-play while I lick that f*cker's armpits
Krobus is calling as my body's falling
I hit the ground bawling
Knowing I have a hellspawn that loves me

[Verse 3: Arin Hanson]
Wake up to The Queen of Sauce again
Beat some stupid f*ckin' five-year-olds again
I don't care if you're crying
I got a straw hat, b*tch
So keep f*cking trying
My horse is f*ckin' immortal
I think I just saw an alien crawlin' through a portal
This b*tch Pierre is making me pull out my hair
'Cause it seems like his shop is always f*cking closed

[Verse 4: Arin Hanson]
Passed out, woke up, Queen of f*cking Sauce
Every single f*cking morning, Queen of f*cking Sauce
Tomato is a vegetable? I'm losing my sh*t
What the f*ck is garlic juice?
Guys, I'm losing my sh*t
My chickens are dead
All I can cook is some bread
If I live another day here, I'ma blow off my head
Now I get why everybody is trauma dumping
I think I'ma end it if I don't find something to—
[Chorus: Arin Hanson]
A message from Krobus
On some very short notice
He is asking if I want to be his wonderful roommate
I'm losing my sh*t, dude
Wonder if he'll think that it's rude
To ask if he sleeps nude
Not that I'm into that sort of thing
I totally said yes
My life is now the f*cking best
Every day, I get to see that fat platinum dumpy

[Interlude: Arin Hanson]
Dear diary, it's been a couple days
And I'm wondering if this was the right decision
Krobus is hot and all, but
He doesn't do anything
The house? It's a mess
And this guy can't even bake
I think I, I think I might have made
A huge mistake
Yours, Arin

[Chorus: Arin Hanson]
Gonna kill Krobus, how does one kill Krobus?
Do you think that sexy b*tch is
Susceptible to a handgun?
Just killed Krobus, gotta bury Krobus
Hope nobody sees me burying my sexiest man-sl*t
Someone saw me digging
The body count is rising
Pretty soon, this town will be a graveyard of f*ckers who can't keep their
[Verse 5: Arin Hanson]
Mouths shut, now what
The f*ck am I supposed to do here?
New fears creeping in my mind about
Sharing a jail cell with someone
Who's gonna treat me like I treated my old number one
Why the f*ck did my grandpa give me this farm?
Did he know that this hellhole would make me do harm?
I'll repent, God, please just give me a sign
And all of the sudden
A light so divine goes

[Chorus: Brian Wecht]
I am your grandpa
I always f*cking hated you
I gave you my farm 'cause
I wanted to see you suffer
Now here's the reason that I died
There's a guy I couldn't be inside
I gave up on life when I realized
I could never possess Krobus physically
In my day, an intense physical relationship
Between an old man and a spirit who lives in the sewer
Was frowned upon

[Outro: All]
Dee daba dweeba dah doo