Too drunk to consent
I was too drunk to consent -
And you f*cked me anyways
Mouth sewed shut
Mumbled that I f*cked up
But now it's a joke more than it ever was a crutch
I wanted revenge for being made a cuck
Why can't I speak up?
Instead
I self-destruct
Incoherent and shaking;
Praying...
Don't touch me
God no never again
Spilling words like drinks
I can't handle the weight
I feel the twist - the cuts on my feet
Bleeding out everyone sees
I'll be whatever they need;
The agony and shame
Whatever mama needs
f*cked 'til I bleed
Or c*m
What's the difference?
They're tethered to the mindset of a
Dead
Man
And everybody else is numb to the question:
"Am I too f*cked in the head, to forgive - forget?"
Didn't want it
Didn't need it
And it leaves me repeating:
I didn't want it but maybe I deserved it...
Forever consumed
In blacked-out memories
Woke to see me in the mouth of the enemy
Swallowing all of my worth
Dirt
A tattered empty canvas
Dirt
Now a slave to a sexual vice I didn't get to choose
I never had a f*cking choice
Bottle in a cradle
Child in a grave
I killed the son in your name
I still take the blame
I always take the blame
And it leaves me repeating
That I'm disgusting; wrong
But
The f*ck you 'gonna tell your parents
When they find out you killed me?
23
I couldn't forgive you