Jay Gatsby vs Christian Grey lyrics

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Epic rap battle parodies


Christian Grey:
"Mr Grey will see you now" Watch me and my tie

Battling a waste of money that makes his book cover want to cry

Let’s put that blindfold on, strap your belt on tight

Driving through a valley of ashes, I’mma give you the green light

You might be dapper but when rapping I’m the sh*t

Pumped up full of Lust when I’m cranking out these hits!

You’re just taking shots both ways, so don’t be too hazy

And we’ll be taking this to the graveyard, where I’ll be "Pushing Daisies"

Jay Gatsby:
Stand up! for this wanna be looking-like-a-million-bucks rover

This horndog started at the bottom, and somehow went even lower!

Throwing partiеs every week, making 50 Shades of Green

A camеra adds 10 pounds, but your wiener’s still small on the big screen!
Greed is the ultimate key to any CEO’s success

Sipping champagne and letting my flapper ladies do the rest

Got roaring twenties in my pocket, you’re a closet fiend of sex

Now, I see you with my eyes, you looked better in the text!

Augustus Gloop:
Gluten tag! I'll take a break to eat you and the beat

Got raps as golden as the bits of ticket in my teeth

I flow like the chocolate river! But like the tube, you suck!

I’m not one to turn down food, but get away with those Grey nuts!

Pop your egos like a blueberry, don’t touch me when I’m hung-ary

I’ll munch up this whole Factory and suffocate you in Gluttony

No stopping me, a gob-stomping spree on fools who lost their man cards

I’ll be sitting pretty in candy city and winning big with a chocolate bar!

Tom Sawyer:
Augustus, put the chocolate down, ???
This big nincompoop’s stuck in a world of pure blubber

Down in the south, my tales are considered a masterpiece

You’re slower than a Sloth, ‘cept in gaining them calories

Maybe try a couple of Huckleberries, ???

Mark my words, ??? Twain!

I won’t whitewash the fence, cause you bums will do it for me

And I reckon, this verse will surely make Becky adore me

Carrie White:
Get off your country butt, go back to blowing little Huck

I'll take the blood from you pigs, and pour it on Jay’s bucks!

Your pathetic paintbrush don't impress me! I'll unleash my Wrath at last

This isn't prom night, But with these words, I'll still burn your ass!

You're making me crazy like my mother, I'll bring pain to ya

I'll cross Chris, leave his limp di*k whipped like Anastasia
Gloop, you can't Carrie your own weight, so don't dare come near me, kid

I'll come on top and leave you humiliated. Period

Macbeth:
I've been told, in prophecy, I’ll leave five weaklings staggered

I'll take a stab at it, but tis not a floating dagger

You Envy me? I'm dastardly! Your tragedy is written

I don’t need this bloody baby, I’ve got three apparitions!

This Scot’s got it on Loch, "Out, damned spots"! Flow like liquid

Leave you double doubled over, spitting verses truly wicked!

So exit Macbeth, and exeunt all you knaves

I've left this cursed, thou hast been Scottish played!

Victor Frankenstein:
(Evil laugh) THE BEAT IS ALIVE!

So, it’s time for Frankenstein to give you all a lesson in Pride!

Going Ham-let on any one of Shakespeare’s little b*tches

Please stop humoring me, because you’ve left me in stitches!

No way you can stop this doctor, Shelley-ing out all these classic rhymes

The universe is not mistaken, I’m a monster on the mic!

I spit avalanching rhymes so hard they scale on the Richter

There’s no way to step to me, cause this doctor is the Victor!
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