Vault Boy vs Cole Phelps (10th Anniversary) lyrics

[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
VAULT BOY
VS
COLE PHELPS
BEGIN

[Verse 1: Cole Phelps]
Hello Vault Boy, I'm gonna kick your ass
I solve a lot of cases with this magnifying glass
Your stupid little takedowns really make me wanna shout
I will use your gun, shoot you up, watch your guts Fallout
You're hated by everyone, you got shot in the face
You're such a little b*tch, boy, no wonder daddy ran away
My name is Cole Phelps, hoe, from L.A. Noire
You look 6? 10? 12? Tell us how old you are
You're such a dumbass, you can reach through that window
To unlock the door, but instead you use a lock pick and a cord
Ouch, ouch, hear that burn? Ain't that a kick in the head?
No holes in the boat, eat irradiated bread
You let those stupid casino guys take your guns?
They probably heard about what you did to f*cking Megaton
You're a vilified villain, and I'm taking you in
Have you freakin' question by my partner, Herschel Biggs?

[Verse 2: Vault Boy]
My name is Vault Boy and I am a Swift Learner (Woo)
Your games are a little repetitive, chasing every damn burglar
That game L.A. Noire is a Bloody Mess (Ugh)
I can run away them burglars with my Terrifying presence (Ha ha)
I am called Lord Death, I'm a real lady killer (Ayy)
Maybe some intense training will help you swim through the sewers (Maybe)
I'm a rad child, you're just a stupid piece of sh*t (b*tch)
I solve cases on terminals cuz I'm a Computer Whiz (b*tch)
All of my companions make everything easy
And guess what? None of them hate me (Ha)
I gotta strong back, I carry all of my junk
It's such a shame that you leave your pistol in the trunk (You leave your pistol in the trunk)
Nuka Cola, Sarsaparilla, drinking Victory
Between you and me, you're always crashing in a tree
And I will smack you in the face with my paralyzing palm
So stop screaming at the suspects and please remain calm
[Verse 3: Cole Phelps]
Listen here little boy, shall I Truth, Doubt or Lie?
You woke up in a ditch with a bullet surprise, b*tch
Doing what I do makes me cha-ching
I know where things are when I hear *ding ding*

[Verse 4: Vault Boy]
Oh please, you got washed out your ass (b*tch)
My currency is decent cause I have some bottle caps (Cha-ching)
I have Nerves of Steel, you made Roy Earl a deal
You'd blow his head off for dissing your friend, sh*t, I did, now go squeal

[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES