Part I
[Verse 1]
Not only did you help me through 15 years
Man, you gave me life, so every time I get mad and try you
I think about it, in spite of sh*t I went through when I was younger
Try to fight the demons, try to fight, get up
I won't lose, I'm stubborn, but I guess that's from my father right?
Every time that I went through sh*t on a basis
You picked me up from the hole I was in
In my room, thinking I was nothing
A waste of breath, the air was to far to catch
Still think about regrets in my head
And it's worst than if I dreamed I was dead
Thank God, I'm not, cause I know how much pain
It would cause your heart, dead in the grave
And I'll cry at my own funeral, that's a start
Whether from suicide from these thoughts
Going on, and I can barely stop, moving
I'm freaking out, and I'm glad that you pushed to me highest
Telling me change, but I can't I'm just honest
As much as I wanna follow the train of a good place
Hell is the only way, I'm sorry to say it
Cause I know that's were I'm heading
If I was ever not to have no sympathy
That would be foolish, I would help you every time I could
Cause I have a heart too, and it's true
That your the only person I know
What I'm going through, cause I know from school
You were in my shoes, younger and naive
I didn't what to think, you told me "keep my head high
Cause God will look down to see me" and in the end I agree
Glad you had a little me, and he will and I know grow up to be
The better me, and follow in my footsteps
Where the ground meets, he gave my energy back
Cause really, if I was an only child I'd be lonelier
Than stray cats, and that's a fact, so I'm glad
And to be honest, when you said another kid coming after that
I was really wondering what she'll be like
And boy oh boy, she really is the best
She was the peak, where I felt happy that
I'll have two siblings to love and care for
And I thank you for that, them only children
Get what they want without really needing to ask
But I'd be dead, if I didn't have them two
Because I love em, and there's no other end to that
Part II
[Verse 2]
Put all my emotion into a pen, cause not only other people
But you inspired to rap and try try again
This is for you, this is for all sh*t I've done in my past
Made you wanna cry, made me wanna cry, sh*t we both sad
I'm sorry, for all the things I've said
I'm never trying to cross a line and
In my head I know some sh*t was stupid to say
If I just didn't have heartless thoughts
I'd probably wouldn't be this way
I'm sorry, for not listening to your word
Yelling at you when I was mad
Take out my anger on my own mother
I f*cking hate myself, hate my own guts
I hate the sh*t I've did, and "I" did it, I know
Why, my demons f*ck me up, they flipping like gymnast though
I have an unconfident conscience, meaning it messes with me
Can't stop doing these things
Knowing I'll get in trouble
All this pain is like a Brazil bee, it stings
I promise I will change and never cuss at my mother
That one that birthed me, I don't why the f*ck
I keep forgetting that sh*t, I'm always on some sh*t
I can't think, what's wrong am I mentally ticked?
Now I realize, why I see disappointment in your eyes
It's my fault, my body is a war zone, but I wanna fight
I hope you see why I feel this way, and understand my demise
One more thing before this letter ends, I apologize