Venting lyrics

Waking up next to you
Probably won't happen
I know that I want it
But I also know what's real
Sometimes I forget myself
And think "what's the point of living?"
The point of it is that there's none

And I'm sick
Of being sick of it all
And I miss
Not being afraid to fall and fail
I know it's not too late
But in my head it is
And that's all that really matters

It's not like I've got much to complain about
But the second I can I find a way
I don't like things about myself
But I probably won't change them
Because I'm lazy and kind of a di*k

And I'm sick
Of being sick of everything
And I'm so done
With myself
You're the only thing I have to escape from
But even now
You're not always therе
And I don't need
To worry about that right now
Maybe I don't need you right now
And it hurts to say it out loud
I usually don't really think out loud