Mow Against the Grain lyrics

[Intro: Hank Hill]
Find out what your niche is, because that leads to riches

[Verse 1: Hank Hill, Peggy Hill, Dale Gribble, Boomhauer]
Beer from a can always tastes two degrees cooler than beer from a bottle, even if they're the same temperature
I don’t know why, I'm not a physicist, but I am a beer drinker
Never drink anything with an umbrella, a fruit wedge, or a plastic monkey in it
Remember, butter first, milk second, then add the cheese powder
Inhale deeply and often
You're payin’ for the nicotine, you might as well get the most out of it
Don't bе the type of person who sits around talking about his own gеnitalia
I tell you what you do, man, you go take these little dollar bills, man, and we'll ride around the ol' George Washington or drive one of them cartoon balloons right now, talk, him talkin' 'bout them about seminal, man, hey, mane, I grew [?]
That ol', I dunno, just pass around, go spend it

[Verse 2: Luanne Platter, Peggy Hill, Bobby Hill, Hank Hill]
Enjoy your body, use it everywhere you can
Feel good about your body, show it to everyone
Your feet are not as big as you think they are
Enjoy your body, almost any part can make a fart noise
In between your toes, behind your knee, inside the elbow
Even behind your ear, from your chin to your neck
And of course, you have your armpit
Always read the directions, enjoy your spatula, use it everywhere you can
If it rusts, don't be afraid of what people think of it
It is the greatest instrument you will ever own
Write your locker combination where you’ll remember it, but not inside your locker
[Verse 3: Cotton Hill, Dale Gribble, Hank Hill, Kahn Souphanousinphone]
Love your shins, them’s the only ones you got
And you'll miss ’em when they're gone
Dance! I said dance, monkey!
Dance! I said dance, monkey!
Do one thing every day that scares somebody
Dance! I said dance, monkey!
Go to the bathroom every chance you can
Read a book hillbilly
Don't trust a man who spends more than 10 dollars on a haircut, buy American, even if it doesn't work as well

[Verse 4: Bill Dauterive, Peggy Hill, Hank Hill]
Be kind to your wife, you may never know when she just might leave you for no reason
Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel sorry for those skinny, little drugged-out models
Mow against the grain

[Verse 5: Hank Hill, Bill Dauterive, Dale Gribble, Boomhauer]
My lawn is my flag, it tells the world, "Here lives a competent, trustworthy salesman of propane and propane accessories"
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room, alone, with a mop
Never throw out an old comb
A comb is one tool that lasts a lifetime
Set aside time every day to check to see if your fly is up
Don’t go to therapy, it'll only screw you up more
Don't waste money on fancy soap
Never, ever trust a man who is wearing a beret
If there's a better friend than a roll of duct tape, I'd like to meet him
I tell you what, man, it'll— dang, one thing about ol', in any kind of relationship is that dang ol' communication, it's the most important thing that anybody on the road that'll happen ol' man
I tell you what, man, old dang, dang what we have, what we have here is a failure to communicate