​i know that you want me to talk but that’s not who i am. lyrics

[Intro]
Ken, I f*cking hate you

[Verse]
I used to make a song in 40 minutes, then I'd post
And now it takes me weeks to even finish what I wrote
And then it takes me months to build the courage just to post
I feel like everything I make is lame and f*cking gross
I'm sorry I don't scream as much, it's not because I changed
I'm scared to show the ones I love that I'm still feeling pain
'Cause I've been f*cking blessed and I don't wanna seem ungrateful
And I built up so much I can't afford to be unstable
But I still have a lot of hate inside I'm scared to show
It was easier bеfore, I was the only one who'd know
And now I havе to hide it when I feel it
But the hiding never works because I know that you can feel it
So please, I know that you want me to talk but that's not who I am
You want me to be real? Music's the only way I can
So please don't get offended when I say something offensive
That was not what I intended, I'm just tryna clear my mental

[Outro]
Like a bird inside a cage is how I feel when I can't say
What I need and what I want, hurting you is not what I want
So please don't take it personal, when I open up so surgical
Don't hurt me, I'm showing you something