​blackout! (2019) lyrics

[Intro]
Oh, my life is so, don't even know, it's getting old
All these songs about the same old sh*t
Guess I'm still hung on the same old b*tch
Switch

[Verse 1]
If I love another girl, I won't let her know
When I fall in love again, imma let her go
She said she would always stay, tell another joke
Look at me and lie again, imma f*cking blow

[Bridge]
[?] I swear I won't want you, but I can't get you out my head
All I really want is you in my bed
I know I'm a mess, you know you could care less
I know you think I'm worthless, I wish that I could forget

[Verse 2]
But I can't, so I smoke till I blackout
No drugs, I'm awake till I pass out
Still awake, ain't no telling when I'm crashed out
Suicidal thoughts in the whip, wanna crash now
This ain't a damn phase, I been stuck like this
Wasn't always but 2014 hit, then I lost my sh*t, and I still ain't gain it back
If that was God's wish, how could I praise that?
[Bridge]
Life is a disaster, I wanna be Casper
Death is on it's way but I think I can do it faster
I won't regret it, I won't be able
I'm dead inside, I'm becoming more unstable

[Verse 3]
Wake up everyday and wonder why I wanna die
When you ask me how my day, I'm more inclined to tell a lie
I could never tell the truth, I don't want you to see me
I'll push you away just so that you could never leave me
'Cause in my head, I can already see the end
I'm still not dead, God, why you keep playing pretend?
Why'd I stop that? Should've known that I could never win
You wanna know me? Listen close cause I won't tell you sh*t

[Bridge]
I'm just a human going through it, ain't nothing special
I'm through it, all the bullsh*t, I've got a head full
And why you asking me what's wrong? I know you don't care
I'm not the one to cry to cause honestly I don't care

[Outro]
Why can't I quit breathing? Why's my heart still beating?
My life line's receding, life's a b*tch, I'm cheating