TV Guide lyrics

[Ras Kass]
The world is a TV show, sometimes you need the TV Guide

[Verse 1]
As The World Turns, NBC Dateline (Flatline!)
3rd Planet From The Sun
Millennium, Earth: Final Conflict
Bold and the Beautiful, Young and the Restless
Presides convicts
Hotlines from perverts and psychics
Live from Babylon 5
But Touched By An Angel
Seeking 7th Heaven, Another World
The Outer Limits in Deep Space 9
Massages by the Borg b*tch, Seven Of Nine
Intertwined but still stuck on Planet Groove
Smart Guy in The PJ's living in Rap City, BET
The ghеtto is Spin City DC
Spit my A&E Biography, honestly
Only the wiser bеcome Survivors
The X-Files among these reptiles
Strictly Pay-Per-View
But most, they The Pretender
Dying, never knowing the truth
Dark suit, it’s all pain
No real n*ggas is allowed to ride the Soul Train
Only if you’re popular, mayne
See, Everybody Love Raymond
He Caucasian, he own the plantations:
Fox, CBS, ABC
CNN, TNT, ESPN, MTV
Disney, AMC, to Bravo
FX, Nickelodeon, Showtime, 'Max and HBO
He Hate Me doe (Why?)
'Cause Malcolm & Eddie want to be Made Men and Sopranos
How do I know? Big Brother video and Five-Oh
Cops – NYPD Blue to LAPD: Life on the Beat
Law & Order is beating down blacks in the street
Mad About You, Just Shoot Me
The Practice is guilty
Mills Lane, The People's Court and Judge Judy killed me
Rush the ER, General Hospital but nope
No Medicare means (What?) – no Chicago Hope
I Poltergeist, walking into a Guiding Light
Got One Life To Live and I don’t want to die tonight
[Chorus]
TV Guide, tell-a-lie-vision, TV lie
That’s the plan though, TV guide
Watch television programs to program man
Remote control to your soul, turn the channel

[Verse 2]
America’s Funniest Home Videos, really don't
f*ck with the Anti Defamation League, they cancelled Arsenio
Sue me, I’m The Hughleys
Love black cuties with fat booties
Feelin' the burn, with silicone double Ds
On the "dubba-dubba"-WB's (What?)— white b*tches
Ain’t got no ass, plus they wrinkle too fast
Spin the Wheel of Fortune, n*ggas always be in Jeopardy
America’s Most Wanted, Crook & Chase, not Donny & Marie
Regis, no Kathie Lee
I’d rather be Howard Stern
f*ck Jenny Jones Makeover, Oprah Winfrey got the perm
But Michael Williams only date white b*tches
So Robin Givens got to Forgive Or Forget
Or get on Springer and fight b*tches
Plus n*ggas don’t give a f*ck
And Murder, kick you off the Real World like Puck
It’s a Comic View, Jay Leno, Letterman replying
Conan O’Brien, News At 10 steady lying
Confused b*tches on Love Line crying
Dinner And A Movie – 'The Mack', chicken wings frying
A E! True Hollywood Story
With bad Spelling like Tori
A Party Of Five is always worried
I’m crabby, sister’s gabby, Mom’s aggie 'cause Daddy
Thought Home Improvement was grabbing The Banny fanny (That’s ill!)
I just want to be King Of The Hill (Lovely!)
Lovey-dovey with All My Children, watching Teletubbies
[Chorus]
TV Guide, tell-a-lie-vision, TV lie
That’s the plan though, TV guide
Watch television programs to program man
Remote control to your soul, turn the channel

[Verse 3]
Friends play Blind Date, trying to make a Love Connection
Then the Newlywed Game, but mad n*ggas be depressed when
They’re Married With Children, Unhappily Ever After
Having A Change Of Heart
Find out Bill Clinton was waxing her (with cigars!)
Guess I was Saved By The Bell
At USA High blunted with aliens at Roswell
Uh, Sex In the City is sh*t
The Sisters got Duck Tales just gossippin' 'bout chicks
Ally McBeal, she anorexic, have you seen her?
Heard she date n*ggas, f*cked the biology teacher
Kids fiend to get in between her, behind the bleachers
Misdemeanor, introduced my Young Hercules to her Xena vagina
Moesha, she a junior, used to be a minor
But rumor is Felicity got the ill nana
Got even nearer to Tia & Tamera
Sister, Sister share a twin bed with ceiling mirrors
Hysteria, 'cause young blacks is Animaniacs
In South Park sipping Remy, killing many a Kenny
Give me an Emmy, 'cause we all act friendly
Some Seinfeld players, some gayer than Frasier
Closed-caption to the player hater, n*gga
Charmed by Alyssa Milano and Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I Baywatch on Sunset Beach
Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place to Dawson's Creek
That’s all in just one week, Must-See TV
Still Telemundo if it’s Spanish you speak
Cost a dollar ninety-nine plus tax
TV guidance plus science and actual facts
Now picture that
[Outro: Harry Allen]
Why? The media is a source of titillation
More than information
The mission of the media is to induce comfort
And primarily... to sell
The media paints false pictures of the nation and the world
Pictures designed to serve corporate masters
To make America look good
This feel-good media approach
Serves the American delusion of white supremacy
But it does not inform
The major media, like its racist's projections, is to be rejected, not consumed
For your very belief is enough

[Ras Kass]
Turn the channel