[Verse 1: Chelsea Peretti]
I never really had a dad
I never really had a dad
It makes me kind of sad
It makes me kind of sad
If I could've gotten him high
Maybe my dad would have given me a try
If I were a deadly vice
Maybe my dad would have treated me nice
[Verse 2: Will Schwartz & Chelsea Peretti, Both]
If I was a bottle of rum
My dad would think that I was fun
If I was a drawer of drugs
My dad would have given me tons of hugs
If I was coke on a key
Maybe my dad would have wanted to keep me
If I was a trusty lighter (trusty lighter)
My dad would've taught me to be a fighter
[Chorus: Will Schwartz & Chelsea Peretti, Both]
Daddy
Daddy
Daddy
Where are you?
Daddy
Daddy
Where are you?
When I need ya
Where are you?
When I need ya
Where are you?
[Verse 3: Chelsea Peretti]
If I was a nugget of hash
My dad would've put cream of my diaper rash
My dad would've been at my birthday bash
Dad would've let me hold some cash
[Verse 4: Will Schwartz & Chelsea Peretti]
If I was a mirror with rails (mirror with rails)
My dad would not have let me fail
He would've gotten me out of jail
He would've gotten me out of jail
[Chorus: Will Schwartz & Chelsea Peretti, Both]
Daddy
Daddy
Daddy
Where are you?
Daddy
Daddy
Where are you?
When I need ya
Where are you?
When I need ya
Where are you?