Are You Wearing Short Shorts? What The Hell lyrics

[Intro]
(You were right about the stars, each one is a burning sun)

[Verse 1]
Are you wearing short shorts? What the hell?
Don't you realize you look like a creep?
I could never take you out in public
You are constantly embarrassing me

[Chorus 1]
Take off your space helmet
Take off your bathrobe
Take off your false mustache
Then we can go

[Verse 2]
Are you wearing hulk hands? Jesus Christ
Would you stop acting like a child?
Take off your slogan-baring t-shirt
Not gonna let you just run wild

[Chorus 2]
If you're going to
San Francisco
You should take those flowers
Out of your hair
[Verse 3]
Are you wearing moon-shoes? That's so weird
Why do you insist on dressing like this?
Don't say you're going to drink tea
In a field of flowers, because that's so random
Because you're so wacky, and I'm sick of your sh*t

[Chorus 3]
You're not a rebel
You are not cool
You're just a fashion novel
Don't be a fool

[Bridge]
In your world John Lennon wrote "Blowing In The Wind"
And everyone has hair down to their waist
And wears untied rainbow converse sneakers
And they smoke weed and make harmless 4-panel jokes to each other
And everybody speaks like they have a dictionary shoved up their ass
Well I've had it. I'm sick of it
The 60's were half a century ago
Knock it off already!

[Chorus 4]
Take off your porcupine hat
And Marcho Grouch glasses
Wipe off the mono-brow
You drew with your grandma's ashes
[Outro]
I am honestly baffled by your short shorts
I am honestly baffled by your short shorts
I am honestly baffled by your short shorts
I am honestly baffled by your short shorts

I Am Honestly Baffled by Your Short Shorts, by Will Barnes