Poor Unfortunate Souls lyrics

[Ursula, spoken]
Well, it seems the only way to get what you want
Is to become a human yourself

[Ariel]
Can you do that?

[Ursula]
My dear sweet child, that's what I do
It's what I live for!
To help unfortunate mer-folk like yourself;
Poor souls with no one else to turn to

[Verse 1: Ursula, sung]
I admit that in the past, I've been a nasty-
They weren't kidding when they called me, well

[Ariel]
A witch?

[Ursula]
b*tch

[Ursula]
But you'll find that nowadays, I've mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and all that sh*t
Yeah, sure
And I fortunately now a little magic
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And here lately, don't you laugh
I use it on behalf of the
Miserable, lonely, and depressed
Pathetic

[Chorus]
Poor unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them? Yes, Indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron crying
"Spells,Ursula, please!"
And I help them, yeah, I do

[Verse 2]
Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em cross the coals
Yes, I've had the odd complaint
But on the whole I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls
[Ursula, spoken]
Oh, and there is one more thing-
We haven't discussed the subject of payment
I'm not asking for much, just a token, really. A trifle
What I want from you, is your voice

[Ariel]
My voice? But without my voice, how can I-

[Ursula]
You'll have your boobs!
Your pretty face!
And don't underestimate the importance of body language

[Verse 3: Ursula, sung]
The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yes, on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word
And after all dear, what is idle prattle for?
b*tch, please!

They're not all that obsessed with conversation
True gentleman avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who holds her tongue who gets the man
[Chorus, sung, *spoken*]
Come on you poor unfortunate soul
It's sad, but true
If you wanna cross the bridge, my sweet
You've gotta pay the toll
*Take a gulp and take a breath, and go ahead and sign the scroll*
*Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her boys*
The boss is on a roll
This poor unfortunate soul

*Now get out.*