All I Rap About is Death & Despair lyrics

[Verse 1]
Loving myself but it hurts sometimes
Suicide note, got it in my mind
Drop ten bands, couldn't kill my pride
And I ride for the fans but it hurts sometimes like
Every night it haunts me, I just wanna end my life
Pick that bottle up again and then I'll run into the knife, saying like
I don't wanna go back home, swear I'm still trapped inside it
I don't wanna go back home, my soul, I can't find it
And all I ever write about is death and despair
But those feelings always fade away, they just don't compare

[Chorus]
To, you, and to you, I pray to God that you don't run
Take one step I'll load the gun, just to fire at my emptiness

[Verse 2]
Got clean but every day still miss it, crushed up pills really blind my vision
2019 worst year of my life but I came right back now I'm back on the grind
Back then really thought I had a death wish
Still do but this time I won't suppress it
Smoked green just to ease the aggression
But it never gets rid of my depression
Look inside, yeah my soul's all black
Never really thought they f*cking with me like that
Just a young dumb kid, now that kid got plaques
And he burst right through and he got the last laugh like
[Verse 3]
But no matter my successes
That noose stay tied round my neck, sh*t
Twenty-six, still got so many questions
I feel blessed but it never really set in
Every day I don't wanna wake up
Been so long since I felt love
One more day, I might draw blood
I don't even wanna try to fix my mistakes

[Pre-Chorus]
You save me from myself when I get closer to the flames
When I'm lost and in the darkness, I still know I'll find a way

[Chorus]
To, you, and to you, I pray to God that you don't run
Take one step I'll load the gun, just to fire at my emptiness