Something Funny’s Going On lyrics

[ALL]
Something funny's going on
And it isn't very pretty

[WOMEN]
This is how it all began

[MEN]
With the murder of a man

[ALL]
Bang!

(TONY HENDON falls to the floor, dead)

[RITA]
Whoops!

[ALL]
In Atlantic City
New Jersey

Something funny's going on
There's a lot we haven't told yet

[WOMEN]
There's a fortune
[MEN]
And a chase

[ALL]
And a lovely foreign place

[DOMINIQUE]
Lovely foreign place

[MEN]
Lovely lovely

[WOMEN]
Foreign foreign place

[ALL]
(Sigh!)
And the body isn't cold yet
In New Jersey

The story that you're about to hear
Is strange, we know
And things like this don't happen every day
But there's a little saying and it's apropos:

Where there's a will
[WOMEN] Where there's a will!

[ALL]
Where there's a will, there's a way

(TONY HENDON suddenly sits up, stiff as a corpse, and remains motionless.)

[ALL, recoiling with a scream]
Aaarrrgghhh!!!

[TONY HENDON, spoken]
Dear Nephew Harry, this is my last will and testament. I hope it finds you in better health than it finds me. Ha ha!

[ALL]
Something funny's going on
There's an awful lot of action

[DOMINIQUE]
And a physical attraction

[ANNABEL]
And a lot of dogs!

[ALL]
Bark bark!
[VINNIE]
There's a fortune to be won

[RITA LA PORTA]
And a woman with a gun

[LUIGI GAUDI]
And the body of a man

[ALL]
And an axe about to fall...

[HARRY WITHERSPOON]
On one unsuspecting fellow

[ALL]
In the middle of it all!
In England
In May
With the day already gone
Something funny
Funny
Very very funny

[HALF ENSEMBLE]
Bark!

[OTHER HALF, along with which gun goes off again]
Bang!

[RITA]
Whoops!

[ALL]
Is going on!