Allentown lyrics

[Verse 1: Ed Helms]
Well, we're living here in Allentown
And he's driven our lives into the ground
When we woke up, we were wasted and drunk
Phil got shot, we got beaten by a monk

[Verse 2: Ed Helms & Zach Galifianakis]
I was happy and my life was good
Gettin' married like a dentist should
Roastin' marshmallows on a stick
I got f*cked in the ass by a girl with a di*k (I do remember that!)

[Verse 3: Ed Helms]
And we're livin' here in Allentown
But they're takin' Teddy's finger now
And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lose my sh*t
And shoot Allen in the face
And shoot myself

[Outro: Ed Helms & Zach Galifianakis]
You totally butchered that song
You totally butchered my life