I Am Cupid lyrics

I am Cupid!
The Liaison of Love, the Constable of Crush, the Soldier of Swoon
I am Cupid
The nearly fully grown cherubic newly fully clothed angelic student of prudent lurid lust your parents warned you about
I am Cupid
The oh-so-subtle mafioso breaking into your heart, strapped with semi-automatic good intentions
Demanding "show me some love or break yourself b*tch!"
I am Cupid
The merciful mercenary burying card-carrying hatordate crusaders and Mc-dating, more outrageous than the latest pages on space invaders
I am Cupid
And I can do whatever the f*ck I want

If I wanted to, I could shoot an arrow through the back of a man standing in front of a mirror
watch him fall in love with his own reflection and attempt to get with himself with a clear
Conscience- I could put some crystal on ice
Blast some Jill Scott at the White House at night
And hook John Ashcroft up with Condoleezza Rice

If I wanted to I could work things out with Justin and Britney and Bobby and Whitney
And if I couldn't find someone man enough for the Statue of Liberty I could break off the Washington Monument for her pleasure because after all a woman knows her own needs best

If I wanted to I could tell you why girls at dances wear uncomfortable stilettos they they'll take off in five mintutes
And how to bring up your unmentionables in a conversation without even mentioning them
I could tell all the guys why there are so many girls out there who want you as bad as you want their best friend
And I could tell you why all women, without exception make sweeping generalizations
I could cook up and hook up and look up the fate of a breakup and stake out a make out location in the case of a Casanova in over his head