Yes I’m Serious lyrics

[Verse 1]
My greatest fear is mediocrity
I wanna be the sh*t, colostomy
That b*tch, ferocity
That drip, viscosity
Nobody's f*ckin' property
Kiss my pale white butt, my philosophy
Bobby Fischer, prodigy, I'm Homer on an odyssey
Statistically unlikely, still I might be the anomaly
Smiling, but I'm sad, the dichotomy
If you got some stupid sh*t to say, then don't talk to me
Experts abound, but they're all sellin' doo-doo
Bamboozled on YouTube, that man's not a guru
The paycheck on Friday you already blew through
To finance some diamonds and scoop up a Miu Miu
Like new shoes, a voodoo might undo the cuckoo
Your vid gets a few views, could patch up the boo-boos
Of childhood rejection and after-school boohoos
Capitalism, religion, the virtue
Spandex and Amex and Xanax, my worldview
4 AM, Benihana, that's my curfew
Jumbo prawns, Pérignon, oxymorons
Isn't it funny that pleasure can hurt you?

[Verse 2]
People tell me I'm resilient
But Lord knows I would love to show my feelings
I would love to explode onto the ceiling
Jackson Pollock, paint peeling
I would love to f*ck off, say I'm dealing with some sh*t
Like I don't get that everybody's dealing with some sh*t
Like my struggle is unique, neat
White girl, dead alcoholic dad, scared to repeat
The cycle of vodka, nauseous, the awful process
Of top-of-the-class to no options, jobless
Of scramblin' thoughts 'til your head's an omelet
Of following Thomas, submit to chaos
With the privilege of middle-class fear
Plus internalized hate 'cause I'm queer
Plus I really wanna have that beer
I guess the enemy's the face in the mirror
But there's a tiny little spark in my heart
I blow on it to see if there's a fire to start
The highest power's the nth degree
That is both infinite and imaginary
So don't worry about God
She's smokin' cocaine at a bus stop
She's puttin' Rogaine on a bald spot
She's feelin' no shame in a crop top
She loves Gandhi and Pol Pot
She condones Zoloft
She giveth more when you scream "no más"
She told me once in the back of a tour bus
The highest highs might really be the low spots
[Verse 3]
I'm sitting on a toilet in Germany
I'm brimming with sh*t and uncertainty
I'm skimming a novel I purchased in France
But I don't parlez-vous so it's not making sense
Aujourd'hui, maman est morte
I'm trying to comport myself with chic decor
While I absorb the force of foreign art imports
While feelin' deep remorse for all the days of yore
I guess it's par the course
I'm tryna undo the stingin' of my suburban upbringin'
I feel the venom, it's sinkin' into my veins
I been drinkin' the Kool-Aid
Flutes, they keep clinkin', celebrities, they keep winkin'
But I been lickin' it up, touché
So easy to be tempted
Hypocrites all act defensive
Better see my name in your motherf*cking mentions
Say I want no pics but all the attention
Yes, I'm serious, half-deaf, furious
Wet eyes, blurry, it's got me worrying
Not my sturdiest, check my verbiage
Groundhog Day, feel so Bill Murrayish
Yes, I'm serious (Yes, I'm serious)

[Verse 4]
So sick and tired of all this self-sabotage
Eyeliner, punk rock, and black boots, my camouflage
I wanna go back to cartwheels and Santa Claus
Forget my regrets and package my baggage up
I want it all solved in two days like Amazon
Tried to escape from my mind like it's Azkaban
Wasted, but didn't crash, I felt the hand of God
Ripple effects, hard to tell what the damage was
Really, I feel like I'm feeling the feelings
Of my inner child who's been pounding the ceiling
Repeatedly asking for reasons and soothing
So I found a bottle and covered the bruising
But I was confusing a numbness for comfort
Abandoned myself when I slipped under cover
Surrendering limits, but longing for structure
Developing habits and lusting for hunger
Selling out packed shows and missing my mother
Smiling at as*h*les and feeling outnumbered
Withering backbone, the pressure was crushing
My spirit exploding, the faint scent of sulfur
Kept hollowing out, but see, I was the vulture
Kept losing myself, but see, I'm the abductor
Kept chasing the pain, feeding the ulcer
Said f*ck this whole place, but see, I built the culture
Yeah, I build the culture
Yeah, I build the culture
Yeah, I build the culture