Miss Marmelstein lyrics

[MISS MARMELSTEIN]
Why is it always Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein)
Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein)
Oh, Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein)
Other girls get called by their first names right away
They get cozy, intimate, know what I mean?
Nobody calls me, "Hey, baby doll" (Miss Marmelstein)
Or "Honey dear"
Or "Sweetie pie" (Miss Marmelstein)
Even my first name would be preferable
Though it's terrible, it might be better, it's Yеtta
Or perhaps my second name, that's Tеssye
Spelled T-E-S-S-Y-E

But no, no, it's always Miss Marmelstein
You'd think at least Miss M they could try
(Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein
(Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein
Miss Marmelstein
Oh, I could die

I'm a very willing secretary
Enjoy my work as my employer will corroborate
Except for one disappointment, one fly in the ointment
It's great, I mean, simply great
The aggravation of my situation
I might as well get it off my chest
It's the drab appellation
Oh, pardon the big words I apply
But I was an English major at CCNY
Drab appellation
With which I am persistently addressed
Persistently, perpetually, continually, inevitably addressed
Believe me, it could drive a person positively psychosomatic

Why is it always Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein)
Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein)
Oh, Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein)
Other girls get called by their nicknames right away
Slightly naughty or risqué, do you know what I mean?
Nobody calls me "Koo-chee-koo" (Miss Marmelstein)
Or "Bubbeleh" (Miss Marmelstein)
Or "Passion pie" (Miss Marmelstein)
Even "Hey there, babe," though not respectable
Ain't so objectable
It's kind of crummy but chummy
Of course, if I got married, that would do it
So, where's the lucky guy? Huh? Oh

'Til then, it still is Miss Marmelstein
Every day I get more and more fussed
(Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein
(Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein
Miss Marmelstein
Oh-oh, I could bust