Knights of Cumshire (Mega Collab) lyrics

[Verse 1: Direlm]
Ride into battle on back of a horse
With my hands on my sword and I’m 'bout to go chop
Winning this battle is not that important
As long as I get to go play with some c*ck
I got recruited into the King’s army
He knighted me while I was knelt on the floor
I might go play dead on the battlefield and
Hope the enemies come desecrate my corpse
I’m pounding it hard
f*ck that man so good I had ‘em on mute
And I feel like a bard
How I strum that guitar and I blow on his flute
En Guarde!
Put my meat on his meat so I’m calling it swordplay
Oh God!
Don’t be shocked, ‘cause sometimes the knights are the gays
Took a trip to a far away town to an alchemist
To go buy positions of strengthening
But I ran out of money to pay him
So I lost my clothes and just paid him in ding-a-ling
Popped the potion real quick, had similar effects to creatine
Drop my meat on his neck with the force of a God
Had that boy thinking he was gon’ get him some guillotine

[Verse 2: Yung Nut]
Walk around naked, the village’s fool
Ride on the smith, I might ride on his tool
Covered in semen, it feels like a pool
And I slept with the king, now I'm covered in drool
Won’t f*ck on my booty then off with your head
Sent to the gallows he hanging you dead
Your mother, she see you, she filling with dread
But your brother’s not there ‘cause that man in my bed
The prince is so handsome, the di*k is to kill
f*ck on the throne ‘cause that sh*t gimme thrill
He came in my ass now my booty is fill
And he's begging for more and he's hitting me still
I’m making him laugh as if I am a jester
They screaming out RANDY, the village molester
Her husband is straight, I might go ‘head and test her
I’m moaning his name and I'm screaming out “Chester”
[Verse 3: DigBar]
di*k really hard like a knight’s armour
Wrestle in bed, I’m a fight starter
I licky his di*k ‘til his pipe harder
Cutting up on these beats, I’m a mic barber
Welcome to knights of the c*mshire
p*nis is sounding like gunfire
We be clashing in bed until I’m tired
Watching for balls like an umpire
Boom, n*gga
Get your sexy ass in the room, n*gga
Sweeping through the booty like a broom, n*gga
di*k hitting like a harpoon in his guts
While we watching cartoons, n*gga
Big thick n*gga named Zachary
King of the butt, he got bootyhole mastery
When we together, we causing a casualty
Sit down and eat on the butt like it’s Applebees
Taking out di*ks, that’s the real way to joust
To win, you must jab your big di*k on they mouth
Last one I did only lasted a round
I jabbed through his mouth, it went all the way down
Now we spread out on the ground with my
di*k in his mouth, he ain’t making a sound
Picked that boy up on the couch and I lay that boy down
Pulled out his mouth and I sprayed the boy down
[Verse 4: Hepatitis G]
I got a sword in me, I be darkest knight
All my n*ggas know I keep my booty tight
On God, n*ggas wanna fight
Slicing every straggot that I see with a scythe
Swinging it around, I’mma use it like a mace
n*gga, f*ck around, I’mma c*m up on your face!
n*ggas think I’m playing, come and find out
Ain’t no running, n*gga, ain’t no exit, ain’t no hide out!

[Verse 5: Throat Soulja]
It’s Throat Soulja coming in hard on this track
Set up ye defense ‘cause we’re planning attacks
Imagine an image we sneak in ye village
And all male prostates are getting ransacked
I’ll torture your ass ‘cause the dungeon’s my jail
You’ll drop all the soap while you’re getting impaled
This getting real fruity, we’re making a movie
And no, what we’re filming is NOT Holy Grail
I sense an uprising inside of my pants
I’ll go into battle, use it as a lance
Your butt getting smoldered, stabbed over and over
Surrender your cheeks ‘cause you don’t stand a chance
Last night I met up with a wizard who’s thick
He prophesied about me twerking on di*k
So I did it for honour, my booty got slaughtered
His magical staff got my cheeks looking ripped
I ride BBC like dark horse into battle
Grip dreads like they reins while I sit on his saddle
He gallops and gallops, I’m tossing his salads
If you pack twelve inches, come hang at my castle
Take off ye armour, we’ll have us some fun
My booty is rank, and yes, that’s a pun
We love to get wild, the straights need exiled
And cheeks getting thrown around ‘til kingdom come
[Verse 6: BackRub]
Rip off my armour and we’re war fighting
Me and the homies we’re swordfighing
Pound town in his poophole
sh*t upon the ground, and we’re floor dining
Good sir, your majesty!
I’mma clap his cheeks
I’mma grab his meat
I’mma gag on D
Royal STDs
King sent his knights to come after me
In kingdoms grand, where the dragons lay
We noble knights and we hella gay
Look at my peasant, then I f*ck his face
Put him in my dungeon with all of my slaves
Pull up to thy battle with my horse and pony
I got a slave kink, yeah, my homies own me
Take off his armour, now his p*nis showing
Run me thine duel, di*ks will never throw me
di*k!

[Verse 7: KolossalKocks]
Broad swords at the bended knee
Suck the bone dry of your majesty
Men make haste of a chode charge
Make the throat large of a faggot steed
Basically we jousting nakedly
I'm on a quest to put booty adjacently
I got a sign on my ass that reads vacancy
Have at thy loins while you thrusting courageously
I'm a black knight, strapped in scatted armour
You my sh*t fief, I'm a vassal harmer
I tell sh*t to rise like a scat charmer
I’ve got horse meat, I dismiss a farmer!
Is this black magic? No, a black faggot!
Was that a chuckle? I’m no black Saget!
Tear into your bum like a black savage
Into the void, call it Black Sabbath!
T posing, no crucify
Invade the brothel, it's “do or die”
I rustle bucks if it’s two or five
Twerking back forth like running suicides
Sir Humpalot, I offer ass sex
Bloodlusted when that ass stretched
di*k make ‘em faint like it got bad breath
Clutch catching bodies like the black death
We trebuchet semen while playing a fiddle
Surround ‘em with swords put that ass in the middle
We stomp and we clap to the rhythm of jiggles
Then grease ALL our chests and fondle our nipples
Now heed all my warnings, you bootied up majesty
This sh*t is real, this ain’t magic the gathering
That booty is calling, I hope you ain’t mad at me
Prepare to defend it from all of our faggotry!

[Verse 8: BLKMaskDaGoat]
I'm chilling at the tavern, I’m drunk off the mead
Hey yo adventurer, come do a good deed
It's a lovely night, come defend me, sir
Stick your sword in me and begin to stir
He get to mixing sh*t while this bussy purr
He screaming "Hagatha", but n*gga, I’m not her
They call me the BLKMask and I got a quest
If you f*ck on me right, you can open my chest
I got some bomb booty to reward to you
Give it to every n*gga that be passing through it
You can catch it from me sick like the flu
This bussy plaguing n*ggas, whatchu wanna do?
What a chance, armour off, f*ck me
It’s paradise, roll and get lucky
King stick it through my dookie ring
His bussy tight squeezing around your thing
It’s fire how it's dragging ‘cross my cheek
He marching through my swamp with his meat
Oh you got a harlot that will snitch?
Man let’s stone his wife, I think she is a witch!
So turn me over, f*ck me like a b*tch
Guillotine chopping off my di*k
Call me Dumbledore how I’m flaming with the stick
Let us Slytherin, this bussy busting quick
Magical and Harry, what a wand
Gripping on his staff until he spawns
Kids from his tip, I leave him tender
This my tavern, careful when you enter

[Verse 9: Schlong Johnson]
Made a new decree for the femboy vassals
Bring your fathers here so I can f*ck they as*h*les
In my castle, whip them with satchels
Only f*ck the men, chivalry’s a hassle
(Dragon thud)
The f*ck just landed?
Oh, look at that! A thick ass dragon!
I’ma tame this b*tch, use my thigh as a peg
Pull that sh*t out and do the stanky leg
My crusade plan is anal
Why you think I got so many dildos on the table?
I’m a gay ass pimp with a cane and able
To f*ck fursuiters, gonna become a fable
I'm down with that mediæval heretic life
Capturing men, let them gore on my pipe
Nut into my mouth and if it taste ripe
I’m biting di*k off and take your ass and take your life!

[Verse 10: OppyToppy]
Yo, it’s OppyToppy and I give good sloppy
Don’t believe me? Ask all the village’s men
Their wives wanna lynch me, because they’re all jealous
That my head game is just so much better than them
For those who don’t know me, I’ll tell you to blow me
I'm not finna front, ‘cause I’m new to this sh*t
But you already know that the knights of the c*mshire
Are 'gon turn this beat to a f*cking gay hit
I’m walking up to all king’s horny troops and I’m ripping the armour right off the knights
Then they lined up and they spreaded their buttcheeks
I don’t think I’ve ever felt booty so tight!
Breaking down their walls, just like it’s a castle
Love the way it feels when I’m piping his as*h*le
Grabbing on his nips using big pasty tassels
Love it when dudes don’t make f*cking a hassle
Taking the bard, lube him with lard
I’ll make him a ‘tard from f*cking him hard
I’ll break his soul, his virginity stolen
Taking his hole, leaving bruised and swollen
His ass is only thing I’m trying to finesse
I’ll pipe his cheeks and I’ll c*m on his chest
I’m the booty taker, I’m the rectum raper
Tearing his ass up like it’s parchment paper

[Verse 11: Sir Skeet]
I’m jousting with my genitals
Gay knights, we be clanking that metal
It’s anything but gentle
I give so much brain I go mental
Put the p*nis on a pedestal
Diddle dee dee
I suck on the wee
Hop on my steed
I go backwards horseman on the D
No headless horseman
I give a lot, I suck off a midget
Look like Farquad
Sexy ass dragon got nice quads
I feel like donkey, I need some dragon c*cks
I give ‘em a Skyrim job
Get the dragon born job done, slippity slop
Lord of the c*ck rings
I’m dildo bagging
I’m doing gay things at the ragged flagon
I nut in the eye of Sauron
When I see an Orc I get a hard on
I go Gollum, p*nis my precious
I’m p*nis pretentious
I’m in knights of the round balls
You a p*nis apprentice
I can’t be bested, my head game the bestest
I'm harder than King Arthur’s armour
I get on the rod and I pipe with honour
I act the gayest, I need an award, I’m tryna f*ck Oscar

[Verse 12: YZ Aubergine]
Catch us circlej*rking in the village square
Stirring sphincter brews in a witch’s lair
I play a fanfare when I see a man bare
Booty armour clanking like it’s silverware
(Moan) The games that you play!
sh*t in your mouth as you crawling away!
The knights of c*mshire run the Dookie Crusades
A soothsaying poopsprayer predict you get AIDS!
So gather all the knights and I shall lead the charge
On this impish rogue, twerking, blushing hard
13 p*nises racing to his heart
Make his booty purr, sound like shuffled cards
HARK, I HEAR A FART!
So assemble the knights, prolapse jesters, cross-dressers, and even the crimson king
A thousand-man army arrive to your village
And all of us grabbing and flapping our dingalings
Pillage and raid for the Dookie Crusades
Waging war on the gays and the heteros
We marching and stomping and clap through the streets
To the beat of the cheeks like a metronome!

[Interlude: Jersey Turd Burglar]
Brethren, we shall invade with this battle cry…
EAT ASS!

[Verse 13: Hydracoque]
I'm the black plague sexually personified
Making sons c*m and making daughters cry
I'm a walking STD n*ggas despise
Gettin' top from opps I chop and cauterise
Dark di*k standing tall with balls awry
Searching public squares and halls for jaws to pry
I'ma stalk in a plague doctor disguise
Just to kill n*ggas with c*ck and watch 'em all die
I'm the king of my castle with peen in my as*h*le
Got gold-plated dildos installed on my throne
The moat's full of semen and c*ckodiles swimmin'
To come in, you've gotta give all my clones dome
To knock on the door, there's a big brazen ballsack
To fondle and punch 'til it lets out its throes
And when it splits open, the bell's button so deep inside
You must ring it with your own c*m hose
Welcome to my place, welcome to my palace
Here, sip on jizz mead from my seminal chalice
Now undress quickly for me, get out yo phallus
For jelqing and jousting and frotting with malice
Pull out my c*ck, b*tch I'm rockin' some triple di*ks
Triphallic n*gga, spit triplets like Infamous
I am the Lord of all gay n*gga silliness
di*k finna spit in hips, libido limitless
Take in your p*nis right between my three and then
Crush it to death as I'm grinnin' with glee
Pull out my sword, cut and eat your body
While my servants prepare certain innards for tea
Break some more bucks in a brazen bull
Then bust a nut in a bird, marinate it with seed
And I toss that sh*t up with the force of a cannon
So far in the sky I can no longer see
I'm a di*k dragon n*gga, my di*k ravages butt
I hoard wealth in my cave that prolapses with nut
Drinkin' AIDS ridden blood out a flagon, I'm f*cked
I'm a nasty c*msl*t, need some faggots to suck
Need some sticks I can bundle together and blow
Need some village twinks to come expose their c*mhole
I'm the prolapse jester and these songs are my show
Gotta go, gotta let my discography grow…
SIKE! n*gga, I'm the gay reaper
Ripping the head off a n*gga then sticking my di*k in it
Jizzing up into it, letting my semen flow
Through it and fill it, you know that I'm feeling it
n*gga, you know I'm a villain, I'm ill in the head
Of the n*ggas all filled up with dread
I instilled in them until they're dead
They become yet another story to haunt n*ggas at night alone in their bed
Often off my head, if a n*gga ain't a fan, he can slump down dead
Most any n*gga could say is "oh, it's not for me"
Get humbled quickly if you try to copy me
n*ggaborean Warlord vacationing in c*mshire
The erotic isle of c*ck-sick smiles where n*ggas spit out c*m fire
Executing n*ggas with erections if they c*m liars
Claiming that they gay but really labia sucking muff buyers
Prostitution is a sin but only if it's hetero
I be only f*cking men and you too, you better bro
Gayest black knight sittin' at the phallic poundtable
Now I'm signin' out for real, time to get some loud anal

[Outro: Hydracoque]
n*gga, the brazen bull ain't even mediaeval, that sh*t's like ancient…
Shut up, I'm still usin' it n*gga!
But... but it doesn't fit the...
n*gga! My di*k doesn't fit in n*ggas' holes, but I still shove that sh*t in!
Oh… uh…
Go get me a di*k and ball sandwich right now n*gga, I'm hungry and you made me angry and sh*t…
*sighs* Oh, okay...
NOW!
*whimpers* Oh my god...