Can’t Remember to Forget You (Parody) lyrics

[Verse 1: Shakira]
Did you all know that I'm still alive?
I'm making a song so I'm still relevant
Have to shake my ass to disguise the fact
That whenever I sing
I sound like I'm yodeling

[Pre-Chorus: Shakira]
No one understands me or the words I say
It's like I am gargling water (Spits out water)
And did you know
I just had a baby, wanna see it feed?
Well if you stay
I'll show you, show you, show you

[Chorus: Shakira]
Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh
Please don't remember to forget me
Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh
I sound exactly like a deaf girl now
And if you look at me, then you will clearly see
That I'm much hotter with my hair straight
Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-ooh-oh (Spits out frog)
Oh no, the secret to my weird voice!
[Post-Chorus: Rihanna, Shakira]
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh
P.S. I'm besties with Rihanna

[Verse 2: Rihanna]
A gig is a gig, here for the drinks
I'll do anything if I get paid in advance
I really don't know who Shakira is
I honestly thought this was a Kesha video

[Pre-Chorus: Rihanna, Shakira, Photographer]
Hold on for a second
Hold on for a sec
I need to take a nude for Insta (Damn, she's a hoe!)
We like putting big brown things inside our mouths
I think I feel a (Spits out frog)
Oh no!
Ew, gross!

[Chorus: Shakira & Rihanna, Shakira, Rihanna, Chris Brown]
Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh (Fart noise)
Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh (Fart noise)
We're both having sex with the air now
Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh (Fart noise)
Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh (Fart noise)
Does anybody have any Pepto?
God, these walls feel so good
Nothing beats real hard wood
Oh sh*t, I just got a splinter! (Oh)
Oh, hell no!
Get off my hoe!
You can't forget me 'cause I beat you!
[Chorus: Kermit the Frog, Shakira, Bodyguard #1]
That's her right there boys!
That b*tch stole my voice
Prepare to get your Latin ass sued
I did not steal it!
Don't sue me, Kermit!
I was just borrowing it, you as*h*le!
You're gonna do hard time for this horrendous crime
Nobody f*cks with the Muppets! (Oh)
Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh
Who's gonna take my job at The Voice?