Closer Parody lyrics

[Verse 1: Bart Baker as Andrew Taggart & Emma Fitzpatrick as Halsey]
Hey, do you remember me? I used to date you
I make music now with this weird dude
Let's bang
Okay
I forgot how good having sex with you was
On this mattress, we stole from your roommate

[Pre-Chorus 1: Andrew Taggart, Halsey & Both]
Last night was amazing
When I'm with you I feel like I'm not aging
Yeah, I feel the same
Let's get back together so we'll never age, yeah
Let's make a song about that
Can you sing?
Why yes, I can

[Chorus: Andrew Taggart, Halsey & Austin Smith as Alexander Pall, Andrew Taggart & Halsey]
Why don't we call it Closer
And make it about that Rover
That you never could afford
'Cause you're poor
Hey, don't be a j*rk
Also, let's add a dumb lyric
'Bout that mattress that we stole
It has a really bad odor
We puked on it back in Boulder
[Post-Chorus 1: Andrew Taggart & Halsey]
Number one, it's our song Closer
Famous singers don't get older

[Verse 2: Andrew Taggart & Halsey]
Hey, our song has been number one for ten years
And we still haven't aged a day, weird
That is so great
Yes, we still look young, our lyrics came true
Even though we chain smoke and drink booze every day

[Pre-Chorus 2: Both, Alexander Pall, Halsey, Andrew Taggart]
It's 2046
We ain't gettin' older but you look like sh*t
di*ks
Now our old friends are growing bald and gray and getting saggy tits
But we still both look super hot
And still have a huge hit song

[Chorus 2: Alexander Pall, Alex Farnham as Doctor]
Enough of this delusion
Based on lyrics in our music
You've been brainwashed by our song
He's right, I am here to prove it
Take these meds, they'll make you lucid
They're anti-delusional
You have both been getting older
This dream world of yours is over
[Chorus 3: Andrew Taggart & Halsey, Jason "J Rock" Rose as Repo Man, Andrew Taggart, Mickael De Sinno as Cop, *Stanley Brown as Roommate*, 88Doctor**]
But this can't be our song "Closer", said "we're never getting older"
I'm here to repo your Rover
You can't afford it
I told her
Hand's up, dirtbags, don't come closer
Is that your mattress from Boulder?
*Yes, it is, I am the owner*
*You j*rks stole it*, we weren't sober
You're going to jail forever
**By the way, you all have lung cancer**