“Did Helvetica Actually Exist?” lyrics

[DOUG, spoken]
Wow

[BUD, spoken]
Always a very emotional moment for me

[DOUG, spoken]
Now, you’re probably sitting there and wondering to yourself
“Did Helvetica actually exist?”

[BUD, spoken]
Hmm... probably

[DOUG, spoken]
Yes!
History tells us that, in olden times
There were a lot of poor wenches
So chances are, if Helvetica did exist
Gutenberg probably knew her

[BUD, spoken]
Also, her name is a font

[DOUG, spoken]
But now it’s time to meet...
The bad guys!
[BUD, spoken]
Watch out!