“Helvetica Is Crying in Her Bucket” lyrics

[DOUG, spoken]
Scene seven
Gutenberg's wine press shop

[BUD, spoken]
Helvetica is crying in her bucket
Monk enters

(as Monk)

Knock knock knock
Anybody home?

[DOUG (as Helvetica), spoken]
This is not a home!

[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
You must be Helvetica

[DOUG (as Helvetica), spoken]
How do you know my name?

[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
Because I’m a monk
I know everything!
[DOUG (as Helvetica), spoken]
So you know that Gutenberg invented the printing press

[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
What?! No!

[DOUG (as Helvetica), spoken]
It's right there!

[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
Well you know what I think, Helvetica?

[DOUG (as Helvetica), spoken]
No?

[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
I think you're going to destroy that printing press

[DOUG (as Helvetica), spoken]
Why?

[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
Because if you don’t make wine anymore
What use does Gutenberg have for you?

[DOUG (as Helvetica), spoken]
I don't know