The b*tch Song (Live 2007) lyrics

[Spoken: Jaret Reddi*k, Gary Wiseman, Chris Burney, (Erik Chandler)]
I didn't know what you guys were chanting, I thought you were saying "pe-e-nis! pe-e-nis!"
Ladies and gentlemen, the author of that joke's name is Gary Wiseman, let's check in with him right now on the drums on his thoughts on pepperoni pizza!
Uh, so I did a p*nis chant, and you went straight to pepperoni, what's on your mind tonight?
Nah, seriously Jaret, isn't it true that anytime anybody chants anything, you think they're saying "p*nis"?
Nah it's not, well, sort of
Somebody's got p*nis on the brain, and it's not me
Man, wouldn't it suck if you actually did have a p*nis on your brain?
(That would suck, hahaha!)
You would be bummed
(C'mon)
"What's the matter with that guy? He seems to be sort of out of it today"
Imagine trying to go through a day at school, "what's up with that dude?" "Oh, that's p*nis brain over there"
Well, p*nis brain is different than having a p*nis on the brain, if you're p*nis brain, then you're-
Yeah, but they're gonna call you p*nis brain
Well basically-
(It's better than p*nis breath, honestly)
Wait a minute, couldn't you actually say that most of the male members of the audience actually have a p*nis for a brain? Cause-
It'll stop with p*nis head, and they'll just- before long, they'll just call you a di*khead
This is a song called The b*tch Song!
Sing it!

[Verse 1: Jaret Reddi*k, Concert Crowd]
Is it okay if I speak to you today?
You've been p*ssed off for a week now
But nothing I can say could make you look up
Or crack up
Is there anything that I can't do
Anything to show you
[Chorus]
You're a b*tch
But I love you anyway
Oh, you can't sing
But you still put me to sleep
Baby, you're a b*tch
Hey hey, hey hey
You make me sick
But don't ever go away

[Verse 2]
So you tell me that there's nothing left to say
I drive you face the window
Then you're in my face, telling me to grow up (Ah)
I wish you'd grow up (Ah-ah)
I can't wait until you fall asleep, I wonder if you know that

[Chorus]
You're a b*tch
But I love you anyway
Oh, you can't sing
But you still put me to sleep
Baby, you're a b*tch
Hey hey, hey hey
You make me sick
But don't ever go away
[Bridge]
La, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la
La, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la
La, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Well, uh!

[Chorus]
You're a b*tch
But I love you anyway
You can't sing
But you still put me to sleep
Baby, you're a b*tch
Hey hey, hey hey
Make me sick
But don't ever go away

[Outro]
You're a b*tch, but I love you anyway
So why don't ya stay?

[Spoken: Chris Burney, Jaret Reddi*k, Erik Chandler]
Aw, you're beautiful! Give yourselves a hand for all being beautiful!
Alright, now give your parents a hand for having sex and making you beautiful! Your parents did a great job, you should be proud of em
You guys all have kickass DNA!
Never leave it at a murder scene
And your parents all apparently know how to do it!
Okay, yeah!
I don't know what that means! I- shut up