Mr. Ice Cream Man (skit) lyrics

[Mr. Ice Cream Man]
Aye
Ice cream goddamn it, let's go
It's ice cream, I got ice cream right here
What it is yo? I see y'all over here
Come here, I got ice cream goddamn it
How many of y'all want ice cream?
Come on where y'all at, yo?
Ice cream right here right here
(I want some)
Now what y'all little motherf*ckers want?
Come on and tell me yo
(Vanilla!)

[Kid 1]
Mr. ice cream man, why you curse so much?

[Mr. Ice Cream Man]
Don't yo mamma curse?
I'm on parole like your daddy, motherf*cker
Now what your little badass want yo?

[Kid 2]
I want a vanilla cone
With sprinkles and syrup
And a li- and a little icing and a little i-i-
[Mr. Ice Cream Man]
A-a-a-a- You stut-stuttering son of a b*tch
No you can't have sh*t, you bast*rd
Give me a goddamn dollar motherf*cker

[Mother]
Hold up, you black motherf*cker
You need to watch the way you talk around these kids
Especially to my son, you're a ice cream drunk driver
You need to have a little more respect for these kids

[Mr. Ice Cream Man]
b*tch
Hold up b*tch, Hold up b*tch
b*tch, Davris ain't give you full custody yet
That ain't even yo goddamn son fully yet, motherf*cker
That's half your goddamn son

[Mother]
Look, I'm not tryna hear this sh*t right now
I'm not tryna hear this sh*t
You f*cking broke ass motherf*cker
Driving a ice cream truck

[Mr. Ice Cream Man]
Well go to the goddamn library, you don't wanna hear it motherf*cker
And be quiet in there motherf*cker
[Mother]
Yeah I got a motherf*cking trick for you
I'ma call the police on yo ass

[Mr. Ice Cream Man]
Yeah, yeah and the police--

[Mother]
Yeah I'ma tell them you selling drugs on the motherf*cking ice cream truck

[Mr. Ice Cream Man]
Yeah yo mama gon get locked up
She buy her drugs from the ice cream truck, motherf*cker

[Mother]
See, what if I go in the house and get my husband
He'll come out here and whoop your motherf*cking ass

[Mr. Ice Cream Man]
Can't nobody in your family whoop me
Can't not goddamn one person in your family whoop me

[Mother]
Oh really?
My husband used to box golden gloves
And he'll come out here and knock you out on the f*cking first round
[Mr. Ice Cream Man]
If he could put the pipe down
He might could, motherf*cker
If he could put that smoke down one minute
He might can whoop my ass
But he'll never get to try, motherf*cker
Cause he ain't gon put the crack crack down

[Mother]
You know what f*ck you, motherf*cker
f*ck you, you f*cking as*h*le

[Mr. Ice Cream Man]
f*ck you and your mama, motherf*cker

[Kid 2]
Mr. Ice Cream Man, you're mean

[Mr. Ice Cream Man]
I'm just like ya grandmama
I'm just like her
So get your little dirty ass out of here
Give me a dollar or get the f*ck out of here

[Kids jeering]
Man, gimme my vanilla with sprinkles!

[Mr. Ice Cream Man]
Hold up motherf*cker
Hold up motherf*cker
Hold up you little dirty motherf*ckers
This is a motherf*cking stick-up

[Kids]
Oh no!

[Mr. Ice Cream Man]
Give me your motherf*cking
Nickels, quarters, skateboards
Baseball cards, all that bullsh*t
You got a gummy bear (Gimme my gummy bear!)
Come here you little dirty bast*rd
Give me your goddamn lunch money
Your f*cking lunch money
Your combination to your locker (I need that for school, though)
Your PSPs, all that bullsh*t (Not my phone!)
You got some new Jordans on
Come here you motherf*cker with them Jordans (Leave that boy alone, he only five)
Sit your motherf*cking ass down, n*gga (Get off him!)
I want all that sh*t (Get off of him!)
And your mamma phone number you motherf*cker you

[Kid 2]
Aww I'm telling my dad-I'm telling my dad
I'm gonna get my daddy

[Mr. Ice Cream Man]
And I'd love to stay here and kick it with y'all little dirty motherf*ckers
But I'm late for parole so get the f*ck back
I'm out of here you little dirty motherf*ckers

[Announcer]
Red's gone wild