Broadway & Hurst lyrics

I'd like to introduce myself, I'm Nicholas Foster
I'm not the best looking guy you'll find
But I enjoy Camel Reds and a good piece of Bocelli
And when I've had a few too many, I do things I regret

So I walked over to the bar to meet my friend

Hey, Foster!

Yup, that's Mikey, pint in hand
Looking for any mischief he can find

What's been up, mother f*cker
I haven't seen you in ages!

I knew I shouldn't, but temptation got the best of me

Why do I do...all these things to hurt you?

Foster! Hear that as*h*le?
His name is Ray
Says he's been seeing your lady...In an intimate way!
Says he beats her up, he says he treats her like a whore
He says he spits in her face, yet she comes back for more

It's a lie, nonesense, he's full of sh*t
Mother f*cker would be lucky if he could find his di*k

I was gonna let it slide, turn the other cheek
But I overheard the bast*rd as he started to speak

Got a new b*tch, been a sl*t for a time
She was Foster's once, but now she's mine
And that poor old f*ck
Heh, he doesn't even have a clue

I'm going to kill him

Why do I do all these things to hurt you
Why do I hurt you, oh
Why do I do all these things to hurt you
Why do I hurt you, oh

Followed the f*ck, as he went to take a p*ss
Crept into the alley, fingers turned to fists

Stayed silent, put my hands around his neck
I looked into his face and sunk the glass into his breast
A surge of blood, a moment passed
I couldn't think, I couldn't move
With every second waiting
There was something they could prove
Smiled, felt relief as his breath became shy
His body lay limp, I had taken his life

No, no, no
No, no, no
No, no, no

Oh, f*ck
What have I done
There's blood everywhere, look at all this blood
Oh, God
I wonder how much money's in his wallet
I wonder if he has any family...
How am I going to get away with this
Well he's dead anyway
No luck sticking around here
I better find a way to get away now...

So I woke up like it was any other Sunday
Had me a cup of black coffee, read the paper, and had one of my favorite fags
Felt right as rain until the phone rang

*phone ringing 2x*

Hello

Hello, Nicholas Foster?

Who's this?

This is Officer Sloan from the police department

Oh, Officer Sloan-

Where were you on the night of the 31st?

I was... I happened to be-

Happened to be at a pub at Broadway and Hurst?

No, I wasn't there, actually-

Do you know Ray Wells?

Um, Ray Wells, Ray Wells
Doesn't ring any bells
The 31st I was out of town
Yeah, th-that's right, on business in fact
You see, I was with my bird, we're in love

Well, thank you for your time
I'd hate to bother you

And they bought it

*knocking on the door*

Who is it?

Freeze, mother f*cker!

I didn't do anything

Face on the floor

I'm innocent
I'm not getting on the floor

You sh*t murderer
You murdered someone and you know it

I didn't do anything
I'm innocent

We know it, and you know it
I bet they'll love you in the shower, heheh!

I didn't do anything

And you're gonna spend the rest of your life in prison paying for it