Tuesday lyrics

[Intro: Tom Scott]
Hey, anyone seen the phone?
Oh, yeah, sweet, oh, nah, sweet, got it, yup
0800 ASB ASB
"Welcome to AS-" Yeah, f*ck that
"Just a moment, please"
Yeah, yeah
"I'm sorry, you have entered an invalid-"
"Main menu"
"Accounts balances"
"Please enter your required [?]"
"The [?] balance of your 00 [?] cheque
Is 1999 dollars-" Yeah! "and 95 cents overdrawn"
Oh... "and the available balance is zero dollars and five cents"
f*cking piece of sh*t

[Verse: Tom Scott]
I'm rolling up the tube to get the last drop of toothpaste
Feel like an epileptic in an egg and spoon race
Tired as, tryna tie my jeans up with my shoelace (Ah, f*ck!)
"Sorry sir, it's declined" f*ck, I hate Tuesdays!
All the food inside the fridge is way past the used-dates
Bread's covered in green, the cheddars covered in blue veins
Out of washing powder, my hoodie's covered in food stains
Pulling all the pillows off the couch to find some loose change
Ah, f*ck! Got a migraine
Feel like I just drunk a yard glass of nightshade
Try stay happy, but it's hard when you're lightweight
And ten dollars gas don't get you down your driveway
"Hi, hey, just a loaf of bread and this pie, eh?"
"$84.95, thanks, have a nice day!"
"What the f*ck?" "What's wrong, you alright, mate?"
"What the hell is in this pie, bro? Whitebait?"
For f*cks sake, man, that's rough, what are these?
It costs a couple Gs now to buy a block of cheese
Five bucks for broccoli, but these grow off of trees
Six bucks for lettuce? sh*t, it's just a lot of leaves!
While rich cats are on overseas shopping sprees
I’m on a comedown from the weekend that I spent popping E’s
My flatmate's like "Who drunk my beer?" Wasn't me
And on top of all of that bullsh*t, I lost my keys!
Plus, the warrant's up (Uh), I'm late with the rego
I say a prayer that the radiator doesn't explode
Rolling downtown in a car that's on death row
That starts making weird noises when the water gets low
But I guess, though, I'm blessed, though, don't need a mood change
Ain't like I'm 'bout to be zapped by no doom-ray
And even though I feel like I'm bottom of the food chain
It ain't nothing new, ayy? Just another Tuesday
[Outro: Tom Scott]
Oh-wo-woah-ooh, yeah, yay (Same old sh*t)
Oh-wo-woah-ooh, yeah, yay (Broke life)
Oh-wo-woah-ooh, yeah, yay
Oh-wo-woah-ooh-woah-ooh, yay