Alcoholic lyrics

[Intro]
Haha
My missus, bro, took my beers. That's why I'm here
"Uh, yeah, hi, everybody, welcome to the Wednesday meeting, yep, yep
Um, everybody give it up for Eli, first of all
Who's been off the meth for a whole month now
And his wife's getting out of jail next Thursday, is that right?
Anyway, we've got a new speaker today, so big round of applause for this young man here."

Is this thing on?
It's been about a week now
And I'm startin' to get weak now
I wake up at 11:30
That's when I start getting thirsty
And I don't know what it is
All I know, there's a bottle in the fridge
With my name on it if I want it

[Chorus]
'Cause I'm an alcoholic and I know

[Verse 1]
Yeah, hi, my name is Tom, I'm a addict
Can't really remember just how long I been at it
I'm guessing that this happened
Like a pattern that I follow 'cause my father's a fiend
And so was mum, so it's, um, like, part of my genes
But it's hard to get clean, but as hard as it's been
At the end of it, I really can only answer to me
And it's the way it is, I truly learned that
So don't give me all that "channeling the universe" crap
That's a load of sh*t and I ain't tryna pass the blame
Like it's just a part of fate and I ain't got a part to play
'Cause if that's the case, then I really can't escape
Might as well just start the day with a glass of chardonnay
Like my dad does, thinkin' that time can never catch us
Followin' my nose kinda like my bro Haz does
But I'm scared I'll end up in a home like Daz was
That dude went mad once, but nah, f*ck that, bruv
I'm lookin' for a little more, but sh*t is raw
'Cause it's just a little short walk to the liquor store
A little more to Middlemore, my mind keeps sayin'
This is what I'm livin' for, but my liver isn't sure
It's 6 in the morn', they're about to close the club
But we know the owner, so we're there until they open up (Cheers)
And that's why I'm broke as f*ck, bank account Golden Duck
Blowin' bucks on these drugs, goin' nuts, tryna sober up
[Verse 2]
I woke up Friday mornin' lying on the floor in a one-man cell
He said I punched that c*ntstable
How many lies can one man tell?
And now I'm on probation
They got me at rehabilitation
Asking for some explanation
I said, "I just like gettin' wasted"
So don't ask why I'm stoned
Hey, look lady, I don't know
Sign my forms so I can go
'Cause I got court at 9 tomorrow
And if the judge is a b*tch
I could either jump off a bridge
Or go get on it

[Chorus]
'Cause I'm an alcoholic and I know

[Interlude]
What time is it?
I f*ckin' know

[Verse 3]
I f*ckin' hate this place, f*ckin' hate this place
More than f*ckin' Ace of Base, f*ck what this lady says
I bet she's smoked more smack than I've ever drunk beer
And then she asks me if I been high this week; "f*ck yeah!"
I've been high like a pilot, why try to deny it
Won't lie, I've been wired, poppin' E like vitamin C
You wanna read my mind like a psychic?
You really wanna know why I get high? "'Cause I like it"
Does it really take a f*ckin' Einstein to figure that out?
How much more sh*t can you spit out your fat mouth?
Who woulda known you'd get addicted to crack, wow
What a f*ckin' breakthrough, everybody clap now
Just give it up for Jack for giving up the crack (Good on you)
It's been a whole week since he had a huff and snap
And rolled his dead ex-wife up in some bubble wrap
Filled a duffel bag up with all her husband's stuff and gapped
Yeah, it's been a month and ain't got nothin' back
Just a lecture from some alchie in a trucker cap
Tryna tell me how to me live my life, bro, cut the crap
Sobriety? What the f*ck is that?
Can't even spell it, bro, I f*ckin' hate this place
Like the f*ckin' Ellen show, straight up
I f*ckin' hate this place like f*ckin' Babyface
And Eric Clapton
Nah, f*ck this sh*t, I ain't even finished this sh*t
I'm gonna go home and get stoned
With some hippie b*tch with f*cking ankle bracelets
Paint ya toenails, b*tch!