Pool lyrics

I got old enough now that I don't take my shirt off anymore. I'm fifty-one, fifty-one years old. So, I don't, I don't take my shirt off anymore when I go swimming at, like, a hotel pool with my kids. I keep my f*cking shirt on. I'm swimming, and everyone's pointing and stuff, and like this lifeguard was yelling at me. "You can't do that." I'm like, "What the f*ck is... I'm humiliated, buddy. I just don't want to take my f*cking shirt off." He's like, "No, you've got to wear a bathing suit, your di*k is out." I'm like, "Oh, okay. Oh, this is, uh... one of the fancy Howard Johnson's. I got you. f*ck. Sorry, man."