Ups & Downs lyrics

[Verse]
I go so hard, why I'm so hard, this on myself, kid
I don't talk a lot, still got a lot of sh*t I never said
My ups and downs, this sh*t ain't even, still stay level-head
I know they bleed just like I bleed, so I ain't never scared
Get paid for tragedy, put my plaque all on my deathbed, yeah
I love my block and I been gone, but I ain't never left, yeah
Been holdin' grudges on my daddy 'cause he ain't never said sorry
Put this metal on his melon, n*gga ever say somethin'
Say somethin', got a thing for red rum
In my head so messed up, when I think
Get in the car and pull out, that b*tch lift up
Heart been broke so many times like how the hell I still love? Yeah
They could never take somethin' God gave me, got a heart
Believe in me, I had it hard, don't go against me
I be tryna act happy around my son, he feed off energy
I be seein' the hurt inside my mama, sh*t be killin' me
I been busy, Lord, just let my sisters know I got 'em
n*ggas with me, these more like my brothers, not my partners, yeah
I wish Dre could see me now, it hurt me when they shot him dead
Watchin' out for snakes inside my grass, these n*ggas copperheads
Ridin' in my cars, I know I'm legal
But I ain't tryna go to jail, so I still watch for 12
Got Ash and Pluck, this sh*t forever, it got me outta jail
Collect calls to my mama, sayin' I'll never tell
Mama, you raised me well
Mama raised me right, I did wrong on my own
Got a house in every county, but I can't call this place home, it ain't my block
2200, it's on my eyes and this sh*t locked
Ghost all on my gun, no serial number, but this a Glock, n*gga
Rel, I blame myself that I couldn't save you
I'm still tryna figure out where they had chased you
And that sh*t killed you, and this sh*t killed me
I'm good, my kids love me, I don't care about who feel me
They think where we come from, we ain't got hearts, we still cry
If n*ggas tried this sh*t two years ago, we still slidin'
This sh*t off my head, this real pain, I don't steal lines
Still say to my mama sorry that I chose violence
This sh*t won't stop, mama
Catch him outside and gotta spin they block, mama
But my neck water like the bottom of the dock, mama
Know what go around come around just like a clock, mama
That mean if I spin, I go again until they shot, mama
I still make sh*t happen
And I pray that God judge me off my heart, not my actions
I go to sleep and I see demons
Please don't wake me up, I'm fightin' 'em off, I'm still dreamin'
Woah
And I don't care to be the hardest
I'm tusk tough just like a walrus
And this on gang, we ain't the gang that you want war with
Nothin' don't last forever, but while I'm here, I'ma enjoy it, I'm lyin'
I worked so hard for all this money to give 'em every dime
Can't say you call me and I ain't pick up, n*gga, every time
Just one more strike and then I'm out, sh*t, I'm like Barry Bonds
sh*t, I got rich, prepared for war, I bought like every gun
Tryna save my n*ggas, they so deep, sh*t, they won't leave the slums
I say I love you, then I mean it, I ain't tryna lead you on
Before I ever do you wrong, baby, I'll leave you 'lone