Trials and Tribulations lyrics

[Verse 1]
The Swiss Miss Girl made her fortune doing commercials on TV
But "Easy come, easy go" was her philosophy
She spent all of her money, she was searching for some cash
So she went to her friend Captain Crunch whom she'd met at a Hollywood bash

[Verse 2]
The second that he saw her, he said, "I bet you're in need of some dough"
Perplexed and confused, she asked him, "Oh, but Captain, how did you know?"
Laughingly, he responded, "It was really just a lucky hunch"
With tears in her eyes she pleaded, "Will you help me out Captain Crunch?"

[Chorus]
The trials and tribulations of the Swiss Miss Girl
She's got a famous reputation, and she's known throughout the world
But life's no bed of roses, she would change things if she could
She plans to make a brand new start and move out of Hollywood

[Verse 3]
The Captain now was grinning; he felt he had her in the palm of his hand
He said, "Darlin', you're a penniless woman, and I'm a wealthy man
You know the rules of the game by now, I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine"
He said, "Let me take you out and we'll talk about this over a bottle of wine"

[Verse 4]
The Swiss Miss Girl was disgusted, and she smacked him right in his face
Then she took his hat and she stamped on that just to put him in his place
But the old man was persistent, he would not be undaunted
The more that he'd been taunted, the more she turned him on
[Bridge]
Then the Captain made a pass at the Swiss Miss Girl tryin' to show her his affection
She screamed for help and when she did, Mr. Clean
Came to her protection

[Chorus]
The trials and tribulations of the Swiss Miss Girl
She's got a famous reputation, and she's known throughout the world
But life's no bed of roses, she would change things if she could
She plans to make a brand new start and move out of Hollywood

[Instrumental Outro]