Michael lyrics

Because one minute they all love you; the next thing you know... you’re in front of a *courthouse* dancing *on top of a car* just trying to figure out WHAT THE *f*ck* HAPPENED to you.

That’s what I’m waiting for... because the *timing* of this Michael Jackson sh*t is what makes me doubt it. *Every* time there’s wars going out of control, or the economy is bad or something is wrong with the world at large, it’s always *these moments* in history that Michael Jackson will, coincidentally, j*rk off a kid. This is getting ridiculous. Are you PLANNING this sh*t? Do you have *meetings?* –

“Michael, thank you for coming. As you know Michael, the war has not been going as well as we expected. There’s been a lot of hiccups, and the public is asking us a lot of questions of course and well, Michael, there’s no nice way to say this and all I know how to do is be direct, so let me just be direct.

We’re going to need you to j*rk off another child, Mike. I’m sorry. I am sorry. But it would really help out.”

– Or, maybe he did it. Who knows? Who knows?! That’s the thing, that’s what I wanted to say, who knows? Who the f*ck knows?

Mike, God, and this little boy know. That’s about it. That’s about it.

The only reason that I can even talk about this sh*t is because... everybody is *speculating.* They all think he did it. And I DONT THINK he did it. I’m ALONE in this. I don’t think he did it.

...I’m not gonna say I don’t *think* he did it. That’s too... *strong.*

Let me just say I am "reserving judgment..." until *all the facts* come out.

So far from what I heard, I mean, the kid said he’s dying of cancer, he was in Make-A-Wish Foundation. He claims he had two weeks to live and it was his DYING WISH to meet Michael Jackson.

Come on, man, give me a f*cking break.
This kid is 10 years old. He don’t remember Thriller! What the f*ck he want to meet Michael Jackson for? Honestly.

I REMEMBER Thriller and I just, like, *kinda* wanna to meet this n*gga. I wouldn’t break an appointment to meet him; I’ll put it that way. I’d have to already be FREE. That’s ridiculous. Because, like, If I’m dying in two weeks and go –

“Oh! Mama, get me in a room with Chubby Checker.”

– I wouldn’t want to meet that motherf*cker, not in my last two weeks! Why not Usher or somebody like this?

So then the kid claims he goes to Michael’s house; this is where it all gets crazy... I don’t...like, you know. ...He does *everything* that you’d EXPECT at Michael’s house.

They climbed trees and rode roller coasters and Ferris wheels. The chef made cookies, pies, and cakes. They was *petting a monkey* and giraffes, singing songs. KID sh*t.

And in *the middle* of all this *childlike activity,* for SOME reason... Mike put out some *wine* and some *pills...* and SUCKED this kid’s di*k.

Folks, it hurts ME to SAY it.

...And the kid had the NERVE to call that "abuse." MOTHERf*ckER, that is a GOOD HOST, GODDAMN. What else do you want? What more do you WANT?!
I’m lucky to get a glass of *grape drink* at MY friend’s house; *let alone* a roller coaster ride and my di*k sucked. Mike must be *confused* like --

"I brought you in my house, I fed you, I sucked your di*k, and *this* is how you REPAY ME, motherf*cker? This was YOUR wish, not MINE. ...I thought you were DYING in *two weeks*. What happened to THAT, motherf*cker? I’ve been in court for a YEAR-and-a-half. You get STRONGER every time I SEE you."

-- Wouldn’t it? This is f*cked up, though... I shouldn’t even say this, this is f*cked up, but....

Wouldn’t it be some ironic sh*t if they found out, through this case, that... the "cure for cancer" was Michael Jackson sucking your di*k, somehow?

Like if Mike had powers like "Green Mile" and all the kids are like--

“PLEASE, Mike, suck our di*ks!”

“Mm-mmm. Never again. You didn’t appreciate it, really.”

“Can we at least study your saliva?”

“Nuh-uh. Uh, huh.”

“Please, Mike.”

-- It doesn’t stop, though. It just doesn’t stop. And the only reason I can talk about Mike is because... he is a *freak.* He is a freak. That’s why people let you talk about him.

Because if I brought up Catholic priests f*cking kids, it’d get quiet as sh*t. (room falls silent)

...But when *Michael Jackson* does it, it’s okay, because he’s a freak. His face is all... *cut up.* And just remember, when you look at that *thing* that he calls *his face,* that he did that for YOU somehow. Somehow he thought you might – maybe it’ll help. --
“Maybe people will like me more if I turn myself into a *white...* GHOULISH-like creature."

-- I don’t know what the f*ck it is, but he did it for you. And I appreciate the gesture, Michael Jackson. If you’re watching this, I appreciate that gesture and I want you to know, f*ck everybody. DAVE CHAPPELLE understands.