Kids lyrics

I appreciate you guys watching me because I do it for my kids, really. And my kids are off the hook. You think I’m a bad motherf*cker, wait till you see the 2000 model Chappelle. This n*gga is *off* the HOOK. My sons are bad.

My oldest son is three. This n*gga made me a necklace out of macaroni. I said, –

“This sh*t is baller!”

He painted the macaroni green and put it on a string. He tied it on my neck and he told me he was proud of me, and I got choked up. And he thought I was sad. That’s how smart he was. He says, –

“Are you sad, Daddy?”

– And I said,–

“No, I’m not sad. You’re too young to understand this, son, but this is *f*cking crazy.* ...You used to live *in my balls*, man. Now you’re making jewelry out of macaroni? You’re a BAD motherf*cker.”

LONG LIVE CHAPPELLES.

Oh, sh*t. Thanks, guys. Thank you. That’s what it’s all about.

Everybody usually wants to be famous so they can rock nice jewelry and all that sh*t. I already got a macaroni necklace. I got valuable sh*t. I got – I got valuable sh*t. I’m not in it for that.

The only kind of sh*t I want to do with fame that’s decadent is I want to go to Vegas to the $5,000 blackjack table...and I don’t even want to play. I just want to be such a big star that I can go up to one of the players in a tight hand... and put my di*k on his shoulder.

And I’m *such* a celebrity, they think it’s funny. -

“Hey, what the f*ck?! Oh, sh*t, DAVE CHAPPELLE! Wow.”

- He gets on his cell phone -

“You are not going to *believe* whose di*k is on my SHOULDER right now! ....And this guy’s balls are as SMOOTH as EGGS!!! He’s had some *work* done.”


- Couldn’t thank you enough. God bless you all, man.

Keep watching, man. I’m going to try to make it interesting. Stay safe.