A Secretary Is Not a Toy lyrics
by Daniel Radcliffe
[BRATT, spoken]
Gentlemen!
Gentlemen
[BRATT]
A secretary is not a toy
No, my boy, not a toy
To fondle and dandle
And playfully handle
In search of some puerile joy
No!
A secretary is not
Definitely not
A toy
[FIRST MAN, spoken]
You're absolutely right, Mr. Bratt
[SECOND MAN, spoken]
We wouldn't have it any other way, Mr. Bratt
[THIRD MAN, spoken]
It's a company rule, Mr. Bratt
[MEN]
A secretary is not a toy
No, my boy, not a toy
So do not go jumping for joy, boy
A secretary is not
A secretary is not
A secretary is not
A toy
[BRATT]
A secretary is not a pet
Nor an Erector Set
It happened to Charlie McCoy
[BRATT & MEN]
Boy, they fired him like a shot
The day the fellow forgot
A secretary is not
A toy
[WOMEN]
She's a highly specialized key component
Of operational unity
A fine and sensitive mechanism
To serve the office community
[SMITTY]
With a mother at home she supports
[BRATT]
And you'll find nothing like her at F.A.O. Schwarz
A secretary is not to be
Used for play therapy
Be good to the girl you employ, boy
Remember, no matter what
Neurotic trouble you've got
[BRATT & MEN]
A secretary is not
A toy
[WOMEN]
A secretary is not a thing
Wound by key, pulled by string
Her pad is to write in
And not spend the night in
If that's what you plan to enjoy
[WOMEN, spoken]
No
[BRATT & ENSEMBLE]
The secretary you got
Is definitely not
Employed to do a gavotte
Or you know what
Before you jump for joy
Remember this, my boy
A secretary is not
A Tinker Toy!