A Secretary Is Not a Toy lyrics

by

Daniel Radcliffe


[BRATT, spoken]
Gentlemen!
Gentlemen

[BRATT]
A secretary is not a toy
No, my boy, not a toy
To fondle and dandle
And playfully handle
In search of some puerile joy
No!
A secretary is not
Definitely not
A toy

[FIRST MAN, spoken]
You're absolutely right, Mr. Bratt

[SECOND MAN, spoken]
We wouldn't have it any other way, Mr. Bratt

[THIRD MAN, spoken]
It's a company rule, Mr. Bratt

[MEN]
A secretary is not a toy
No, my boy, not a toy
So do not go jumping for joy, boy
A secretary is not
A secretary is not
A secretary is not
A toy
[BRATT]
A secretary is not a pet
Nor an Erector Set
It happened to Charlie McCoy

[BRATT & MEN]
Boy, they fired him like a shot
The day the fellow forgot
A secretary is not
A toy

[WOMEN]
She's a highly specialized key component
Of operational unity
A fine and sensitive mechanism
To serve the office community

[SMITTY]
With a mother at home she supports

[BRATT]
And you'll find nothing like her at F.A.O. Schwarz
A secretary is not to be
Used for play therapy
Be good to the girl you employ, boy
Remember, no matter what
Neurotic trouble you've got
[BRATT & MEN]
A secretary is not
A toy

[WOMEN]
A secretary is not a thing
Wound by key, pulled by string
Her pad is to write in
And not spend the night in
If that's what you plan to enjoy

[WOMEN, spoken]
No

[BRATT & ENSEMBLE]
The secretary you got
Is definitely not
Employed to do a gavotte
Or you know what
Before you jump for joy
Remember this, my boy
A secretary is not
A Tinker Toy!
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