Brian Griffin vs Snoopy lyrics

[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATLES OF HISTORY!
BRIAN GRIFFIN
VS
SNOOPY
BEGIN!

[Verse 1: Brian Griffin and Charlie Brown]
Brian Griffin here to spit some more bars
You're looking at a writer, a thinker, a star
Your team throws you around like a worthless pinata
One bad night and I roll with Sinatra!
Loved by millions, book sales in the billions
Fill me in on yours after I'm done with Jillian
Maybe you'd actually write something that'd make you proud
If you didn't spend your time with your head in the clouds
Somehow your life as an author is more tragic than mine
So you better step away 'cuz IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!
Your seven decades in the frame? I raise above it
Man just look at your merch, that's some livе laugh love sh*t
I'm under your skin like Woodstock in this beef
Got you bеat, even Charlie Brown's like Good Grief!
You've been owned by the greatest, so best of luck dude
But I think I'm through here, so other dog f*ck YOU!

[Verse 2: Snoopy]
Joe Cool in the building yeah, I'm fresh with the flow
Black shades, red scarf, watch me steal up the show
You really think you're hot like you're on top of the world?
But we'll see where that ego goes when I drop him like Pearl!
You're always crying "Why doesn't my son wanna see me?"
But that personality is more washed than your martinis
You're a godless entitled homewrecker, pathetic
With how much you push your personal views, just join Reddit
I mean for crying out loud, you just go on and on
Wanna know what you sound like? Peanuts trump sounds
'Cause even Twitter babies kicked you out the door
Faster than your own mother, who didn't even want you anymore!
Took you years to reach out, but she was busy getting stuffed
And that's not an innuendo, I mean literally stuffed!
Time to take a nap, I believe my verse has been cooked
I'll be flying 'round the world while you fail to sell your books
[Verse 3: Droopy]
Hello, happy people, it's my turn
To diss this alcoholic and the little white turd
You shouldn't mess around with the capital H hound
You know what? I think I'll send them to the city pound
I'm the emcee from MGM, believe me!
The best pup that's been on a TV
And I've got the mean droop to leave opponents weak
My flows are so heavy that they're pulling down my cheeks
Brian, I forgot you for a minute
I kinda preferred Vinny, or the show without you in it
And Mr. Snoop Doggy Dogg, you should play dead instead
'Cuz those jobs and careers? They're all in your head
I solve a lot of cases with my magnifying glass
But I don't need it to tell you that both your verses were ass
And now that I've taken these idiots for a whirl
I'll say goodbye, everybody, time to chill with my dream girl

[Verse 4: Mr. Peabody]
Step aside, big boy, let me establish the facts
I calculated this battle and now I'm leading the pack
Show of hands, how many of us graduated Harvard at three?
It seems that honor only goes to me!
Brian seems to wrongly think his writings are deep
I wouldn't even use his books to put Sherman to sleep
And your claim to want attention from your son's not right
You're only acting paternal when he can put you in the spotlight
And while we're talking about being delirious
Snoopy's delusions are getting quite serious
The cause is probably all the chocolate that you gnaw on
Is that a death wish, or are you just a moron?
As stupid goes, Droopy takes the kit and kaboodle
What kind of Basset hound has the last name McPoodle?
Since I've built a time machine, this couldn't be greater
I crushed you all now and I can show my boy later
[Verse 5: Dogbert]
In the concrete, cubicles, and corporate greed
I'm the silent strategist who turns incompetence to green
All it takes is writing little white lies behind the screen
To flip failures into profits and wipe your bank account clean
Cause when you step to the prepped up Dogbert
I'm sure gonna crush your dreams till your jaws hurt
And I won't get softer for these failed authors
Bow down to me sons of b*tches, because that's how the law works
Peabody, try to turn back time now
Once you realize that all your relevance has died out
About Brian, someone get a veterinary on the lines
Put him down, he gave herpes to an actual child! (That's wild)
What's with all these tumors?
Whose only demographic appears to be boomers
I'd spend more time to keep hypnotising you four little squirrels
But I gotta go, it's time to take over the world

[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE
EPIC RAP BATLES
WOOF!
OF HISTORY!