I believe that it is assumed as a fact among
divines, that the Spirit of divine truth, in the
boundless diversity of its operations, visits
the mind of every intelligent being, born
into the world — but the time when, is only
fully known to the Almighty and the soul
which is the object of the Holy Spirit's en-
lightening influence. It is also conceded on
all hands, that the Spirit of Truth operates
on different minds, in a variety of ways —
but always with the design of convincing
man of sin and of a judgment to come.
And oh ! that men would regard their real
interests and yield to the illuminating influ-
ences of the Spirit of God — then wretched-
Hess and misery would abound no longer,
but every thing of the kind give place, to
the pure principles of peace, godliness,
brotherly kindness, meekness, charity and
love. These graces are spontaneously pro-
duced in the human heart, and are exempli-
fied in the christian deportment of every soul
under the mellowing and sanctifying influ-
ences of the Spirit of God. They are the
peaceable fruits of a meek and quiet spirit.
The perverseness of man in this respect, is
one of the great and conclusive proofs of his
apostacy, and of the rebellious inclination
of his unsanctified heart to the will and wis-
dom of his Creator and his judge.
I have heard a great deal said respecting
infants feeling as it were the operations of the
Holy Spirit on their minds, impressing them
with a sense of their wickedness and the ne-
cessity of a preparation for a future state.
Children at a very early age manifest in a
strong degree two of the evil passions of our
nature — anger and pride. We need not won-
der, therefore, that persons in early life, feel
good impressions ; indeed, it is a fact too
well established to admit of doubt or contro-
versy, that many children have manifested a
strength of intellect far above their years,
and have given ample evidence of a good
work of grace manifest by the influence of
the Spirit of God in their young and tender
minds. But this is perhaps attributable to
the care and attention bestowed upon them.
If constant and judicious means are used
to impress upon their young and suscepti-
ble minds, sentiments of truth, virtue, mo-
rality, and religion, and these efforts are sus-
tained by a corresponding practice on the
part of parents or those who strive to make
these early impressions, we may rationally
trust that as their young minds expand, they
will be led to act upon the wholesome prin-
ciples they have received — and that at a very
early period these good impressions will be
more indelibly engraved on their hearts by
the co-operating influences of that Spirit, who
in the days of his glorious incarnation, said,
" suffer little children to come unto me, and
forbid them not for of such is the kingdom
of heaven."
But to my experience, and the reader
knows full well that experience is the best
schoolmaster : for, what we have expe-
rienced, that we know, and all the world
cannot possibly beat it out of us. I well re-
member the conversation that took place
between Mrs. Furman and myself when I
was about six years of age, she was attached
to the Baptist church, and was esteemed as
a Very pious woman. Of this I have not the
shadow of a doubt, as her whole course of
conduct was upright and exemplary. On
this occasion, she spoke to me respecting a
future state of existence, and told me that I
might die, and enter upon it, to which I
replied that I was too young — that old people
only died. But she assured me that I was
not too young, and in order to convince me
of the truth of the observation, she referred
me to the grave yard, where many younger
and smaller persons than myself were laid
to moulder in the earth. I had of course
nothing to say — but, notwithstanding, I could
not fully comprehend the nature of death,
and the meaning of a future state, yet I felt
an indescribable sensation pass through my
frame, I trembled and was sore afraid, and
for some time endeavoured to hide myself
from the destroying monster, but I could find
no place of refuge. The conversation and
pious admonitions of this good lady made a
lasting impression upon my mind. At times,
however, this impression appeared to be
wearing away — then again I would become
thoughtful, make serious inquiries, and seem
anxious to know something more certain re-
specting myself, and that state of existence
beyond the grave, in which I was instructed
to believe. About this time I was taken to
meeting in order to hear the word of God, and
receive instruction in divine thinsrs. This was
the first time I had ever entered a house of
worship, and instead of attending to what the
minister said, I was employed in gazing about
the house, or playing with the unruly boys,
with whom I was seated in the gallery. On
my return home, Mr. Furman, who had been
apprised of my conduct, told me that I had
acted very wrong. He did not however stop
here. He went on to tell me how I ought
to behave in church, and to this very day I
bless God for such wholesome and timely
instruction. In this particular I was not
slow to learn, as I do not remember that
I have from that day to this, misbehaved in
the house of God.
It may not be improper to remark in this
place, that a vast proportion of the miscon-
duct of young people in church, is chargea-
ble to their parents and guardians. It is to
be feared that there are too many professing
christians who feel satisfied if their children
or those under their care enter on a sabbath
day within the walls of the sanctuary, without
reference to their conduct while there. I
would have such persons seriously ask them-
selves whether they think they discharge
the duties obligatory on them by the relation
in which they stand to their Maker, as well
as those committed to their care, by so much
negligence on their part. The christian
feels it a duty imposed on him to conduct his
children to the house of God. But he rests
not here. He must have an eye over them,
and if they act well, approve and encourage
them ; if otherwise, point out to them their
error, and persuade them to observe a dis-
creet and exemplary course of conduct while
in church.
After a while I became very fond of at-
tending on the word of God — then again I
would meet the enemy of my soul, who
would strive to lead me away, and in many
instances he was but too successful, and to
this day I remember that nothing scarcely
grieved me so much, when my mind had
been thus petted, than to be called by a
nick name. If I was spoken to in the spirit
of kindness, I would be instantly disarmed
of my stubborness, and ready to perform
any thing required of me. I know of nothing
so trying to a child as to be repeatedly
called by an improper name. I thought it
disgraceful to be called an Indian ; it was
considered as a slur upon an oppressed and
scattered nation, and I have often been led
to inquire where the whites received this
word, which they so often threw as an op-
probrious epithet at the sons of the for-
est. I could not find it in the bible, and
therefore concluded, that it was a word im-
ported for the special purpose of degrading
us. At other times I thought it was derived
from the term in-gen-uity. But the proper
term which ought to be applied to our nation,
to distinguish it from the rest of the human
family, is that of " Natives^^ — and I humbly
conceive that the natives of this country are
the only people under heaven who have a
just title to the name, inasmuch as we are
the only people who retain the original com-
plexion of our father Adam* Notwith-
standing my thoughts on this matter, so
completely was I weaned from the interests
and affections of my brethren, that a mere
threat of being sent away among the Indians
into the dreary woods, had a much better
effect in making me obedient to the com-
mands of my superiors, than any corporal punishment that they ever inflicted. I had
received a lesson in the unnatural treatment
of my own relations, which could not be
effaced; and I thought that if those who
should have loved and protected me, treated
me with such unkindness, surely I had no
reason to expect mercy or favour at the
hands of those who knew me in no other re-
lation than that of a cast-off member of the
tribe. A threat, of the kind alluded to,
invariably produced obedience on my part,
so far as I understood the nature of the
command.
I cannot perhaps give a better idea of the
dread which prevaded my mind on seeing any of my brethren of the forest, than by re-
lating the following occurence. One day
several of the family went into the woods to ga-
ther berries, taking me with them. We had
not been out long before we fell in with a com-
pany of white females, on the same errand —
their complexion was, to say the least, as
dark as that of the natives. This circ*m-
stance filled my mind with terror, and I
broke from the party with my utmost speed,
and I could not muster courage enough to
look behind until I had reached home. By
this time my imagination had pictured out a
tale of blood, and as soon as I regained
breath sufficient to answer the questions
which my master asked, I informed him that
we had met a body of the natives in the
woods, but what had become of the party I
couid not tell. Notwithstanding the manifest
incredibility of my tale of terror, Mr. Fur-
man was agitated ; my very appearance was
sufficient to convince him that I had been
terrified by something, and summoning the
remainder of the family, he sallied out in
quest of the absent party, whom he found
searching for me among the bushes. The
whole mystery was soon unravelled. It
may be proper for me here to remark, that
the great fear I entertained of my brethren,
was occasioned by the many stories I had
heard of their cruelty towards the whites —
how they were in the habit of killing and
scalping men, women and children. But the
whites did not tell me that they were in a
great majority of instances the aggressors —
that they had imbrued their hands in the life
blood of my brethren, driven them from their
once peaceful and happy homes — that they
introduced among them the fatal and exter-
minating diseases of civilized life. If the
whites had told me how cruel they had been
to the " poor Indian," I should have appre-
hended as much harm from them.
Shortly after this occurrence I relapsed
into my former bad habits — was fond of the
company of the boys, and in a short time
lost in a great measure that spirit of obedi-
ence which had made me the favourite of
my mistress. I was easily led astray, and,
once in particular, I was induced by a boy,
^my senior by five or six years) to assist
him in his depredations on a water melon
patch belonging to one of the neighbours.
But we were found out, and my companion
in wickedness led me deeper in sin, by per-
suading me to deny the crime laid to our
charge. I obeyed liim to the very letter,
and when accused, flatly denied knowing
any thing of the matter. The boasted cour^
age of the boy, however, began to fail as
soon as he saw danger thicken, and he con-
fessed it as strongly as he had denied it.
The man from whom we had pillaged the
melons threatened to send us to Newgate,
but he relented. The story shortly after-
ward reached the ears of the good Mrs.
Furman, who talked seriously to me about
it. She told me that I could be sent to
prison for it — that I had done wrong, and
gave me a great deal of wholesome advice.
This had a much better effect than forty
floggings — it sunk so deep into my mind that
the impression can never be effaced now went on without difficulty for a few
months, when I was assailed by fresh and un-
expected troubles. One of the girls belong-
ing to the house had taken some ofience at
me, and declared she would be revenged.
The better to effect this end, she told Mr.
Furman that I had not only threatened to
kill her, but had actually pursued her with
a knife, whereupon he came to the place
where I was working and began to whip me
severely. I could not tell for what. I told
him I had done no harm, to which he re-
plied, "I will learn you, you Indian dog,
how to chase people with a knife.*' I told
hira I had not, but he would not believe me,
and continued to whip me for a long while.
But the poor man soon found out his
error, as after he had flogged me, he un-
dertook to investigate the matter, when to
his amazement he discovered it was nothing
but fiction, as all the children assured him
that I did no such thing. He regretted be-
ing so hasty — but I saw wherein the great
difficulty consisted, if I had not denied the
melon aflair, he would have believed me,
but as I had uttered an untruth about that, it
was natural for him to think that the person
who will tell one lie, will not scruple at two.
For a lone: while after this circ*mstance
transpired, I did not associate with my com-
panions.