Shores of California lyrics

[Verse 1]
He's been trying with limited success
To get this girl to let him get into her dress
But every time he thinks he's getting close
She threatens death before he gets a chance

[Chorus 1]
And that's the way it is in Minnesota
And that's the way it is in Oklahoma
That's the way it's been since protozoa
First climbed onto the shores of California

[Verse 2]
And she's been trying with limited success
To get him to turn out the lights and dance
Cause like any girl all she really wants is
That fickle little b*tch romance
That fickle little b*tch romance

[Pre-Chorus]
And that is why a girl is called a tease
And that is why a guy is called a sleaze
And that's why god made escort agencies
"One Life to Live" and mace and GHB

[Chorus 2]
And that's the way it is in Minnesota
And that's the way it is in Oklahoma-homa
That's the way since the animals and Noah
First climbed onto the shores of California
[Bridge]
Must not be too kind
Stop thinking love is blind
Clench your fists, yeah write
“she's just not my type...”

[Verse 3]
Why all these conflicting specifications
Maybe to prevent overpopulation
All I know is that all around the nation
The girls are crying and the boys are masturbating
The girls are crying and the boys are masturbating

[Chorus 3]
And that's the way it is in Minnesota
And that's the way it is in Oklahoma-homa
That's the way Aristophanes and Homer
Wrote the Iliad and Lysistrata
And that's the way it is in Minnesota
And that's the way it is in Oklahoma-homa
That's the way it's been since antiprotozoa
First climbed onto the shores of California