My Bloody Valentine vs The Leprechaun. rap battle. lyrics

[Intro: Announcer (Fightmarker)]
RAP BATTLE
AXEL PALMER
VS...
THE LEPRECHAUN

[Verse 1: Axel Palmer (ColeTheCole)]
No gold here bud only coal in these mines, sir
Though then again, it's perfect fuel for my fire
Now you're not celebrating Valentines' but your face makes my eyes hurt
So I'm breaking horror movie rules, this f*cking virgin dies first
Bet ya' felt real good when Aniston got big with Friends right
It's like you use her one appearance to fund your whole franchise
And you're half a comedy? Please, Lucky's not charming
What's gold? A pot of candy coins is where thеy'll hear your heartbeat
So now I'm ripping through this assholе so brutal, edit it off the channel
Why the hell are you trying to battle? Real soon even you'd pick-Axel
Here's something to feed ya fetish, your greatest feat will be being beaten by me
They threw other sh*t down your old ass well, your Direct-to-DVDs

[Verse 2: The Leprechaun (MidgeCat)]
Argh, I can't believe it! A lie I've been told!
Sent here to find me treasure, but your bars were not gold
They weren't wrought iron either, so I'll call your bluff
Smash your gas mask, watch you choke on the mine's dust
Despite the fit, lad, you're the one that's green with envy
You killed half of your town over your girl and her ex piece? Pathetic
And her and the cops left this asshat to die and rot
So I bet you're happy you didn't cut your right hand off
I'm an immortal mystical being! No pickaxe swings will hurt me
When I stomp you I'll clean the blood off my boots, so dirty
Now I'm back off to the hood, I've spread more than enough no-good
Leppy Boy ruined this kid more than daddy's death ever could
(*laugh and gunshot*)
[Verse 3: Uncle Sam (SimplyRazzy), The Leprechaun (MidgeCat)]
After the garbage you just spat, now I really want you dead
Fought in wars against horrors, but you seem to be the opposite
Sergeant Sams's spittin sick stingers to singe your satire
Be afraid of my lyrics, there's nothing friendly about this fire
This veteran takes pleasure in dismembering degenerates
For the betterment of my Americans, I'll take care of these terrorists
Who don't put effort in their verses, seems your fate is certain
When I kill off a Palmer, you can call me Uncle Warden
I'm glad I showed up because between you lazy hacks
It's more fit to call the battle, "A Race of Two Sacks"
You a pothead, Lep? A friend with weed is a friend indeed
Well it seems I'm your worst f*cking enemy
Try all you want, I'm dispersing syllables colder
Than some dead ass f*cking stories, I'm the unkillable soldier
So when I flatten you the Canadian Police asked what happened to
Your battered bruised corpses, I'll say I left them red, black, and blue

[Verse 4: Samhain (Fightmarker)]
Sam-I-Am, Sam-I-Am, who's this imposter?
Stole my name, used war as an excuse for slaughter
And no Halloween Spirit; send Jody my regards
Putting "S" before "Harper" when I unwrap my bars
Make you brighter as a Jack O' Lantern. Chop! Chop! Chop!
Treating tricks like treats when I go, nom, nom, nom
"Jody's under the eagle's wing", you sure thought! Thought! Thought!
Then he got a hold of the cannon and went, pop! Pop! Pop!
One question 'cuz it's not getting through to me
This year, why'd you all dress up as bad horror movies?
I run bur-laps around your pickaxe, bite my candy, you'll get stabbed
And be swept up with this bag, screaming next to my Kit-Cats
Harper's empty, an un-deadbeat only known from Dead Meat
Making corpses white as ghosts like they were wearing bedsheets
Sam! Here's a card, this note's exclusively for you
Seasons greetings, to your new home... The other side of the abuse
[Verse 5: Turkie (Commander Jacob), Billy Lenz (ENNWAY)]
Gobble gobble, motherf*cker, get prepared to take a bite
Since Thankskilling has arrived 4 more b*tches on the plate tonight
I'm Greeting their ass, and leavin' them mashed, get heated to ash, and heaved in the trash
These eaten scraps are Louise and I'm Sam, 'cuz I'm beating your ass
Hey, kid, I ain't falling for your tricks, b*tch
Must be a treat getting killed this quick, 'specially when you're packing a verse more unfocused than your sh*t flick you dipsh*t
Now I got a question to ask before your life meets it's closure
Supposed to represent October? What are you, Myers leftovers?
Yea, and I- (*phone rings*), the f*ck?
Didn't even knew I had Cricket Wireless
Hello? (*unintelligible noises*)
Who the f*ck is this? Stop being weird, prank calls are for pussies
I'm going to kill you
The f*ck? Alright. Alright, you have 10 seconds until I come over there and- (*stab*)

[Verse 6: Billy Lenz (ENNWAY)]
It's my turn now, you've had your fun
You've lost bills before, will you do the same when you battle one?
Putting me up with children? Sam will fair worse than Agnes did
Roast a turkey to charcoal, I'm dreaming of a Black Christmas
Cutting off the phone line? You're sure to find my blade's your end
Choking this joke with a plastic bag, it feels like he's in space again
What? Axel's swinging axes 'cuz he saw dadda die?
pus*y sh*t, motherf*cker, I ate the b*tch that killed mine
You all are comedic, less baked than Sam's uniform
Breaking fairy tales to pieces, Lep's new name's Glass Unicorn
You really think you'll live? Don't be so f*cking silly
Victory's in the eye of the beheader: Hey, it's me, Billy