Sweet Charity: Charity’s Soliloquy lyrics

[CHARITY]
Can I remember how this song and dance began?
Yes, I can, damn right I can
It began, well, anyway, you see
There was this man
Who stopped and asked me if I knew
Which way was Lexington Avenue
He said: "I'm going to Bloomingdale's"
I said: "I'm going to Bloomingdale's"
So we hoofed over to Bloomingdale's

[CHARITY, spoken]
He wanted to buy some jockey shorts. 

[CHARITY]
Then he said: "Miss, would you like a cup of tea
Or maybe some Seven-Up?
I left the tip, picked up the tab
For the jockey shorts and thе taxi cab

[CHARITY, spoken]
He dropped me off and I burnеd!
Boy! Let that be a lesson to you. 

[CHARITY]
Lower the boom, girl!
Lower the boom!
But what can you do when he knocks on your door
'Cause they locked him out of his furnished room
[CHARITY, spoken]
So, he moves in!
He moves in with the jockey shorts in a paper bag
Nothing else!

[CHARITY]
He needs toothpaste
And a toothbrush and pajama tops
He needs razor blades, a razor, and a comb! Several!
He needs sistering and brothering
And fathering and mothering
He needs a hat to hang up in my flat
And call it home!

In no time at all
I find we're very much in love
And I'm blushing like a sentimental slob
And he's kissing me and hugging me
And all the time he's bugging me
To go out and try to find myself
A better paying job!

Comes July, it's ninety-eight degrees
He wants a coat
Wants a fur-lined coat, fur collar, cuffs, the works!
While I really didn't begrudge it
When I figured out my budget
For that coat I had to dance
With something like eleven hundred j*rks!
Now comes February, ten degrees
I need a coat
Need a coat to walk his poodle that I bought
So he gives me his old sweatshirt, a muffler, and a [?]
And I give to him the bronchial pneumonia that I caught

Then I give him
Pocket money, poker money
Smoking money, skating money
Bowling money, movie money
Hair-cut money, shoe-shine money
Money for a bill from Louie's bar
Money for a bill from Maxie's bar
Money for a bill from Charlie's bar
But will he ask for subway money?
No, he won't want subway money

[CHARITY, spoken]
'Cause it turns out the bum wants to go to Florida. C'mon down!

[CHARITY]
Now hear this
And get this
Oh Susannah! Amen
This big fat heart
Ain't gonna be torn apart
Ever, ever, ever again!
Ole!