(stage patter 4) lyrics

You slimy f*ckin' c*nt! Yeah, you missed. f*ck you!

Hit him! Beat him up! Give me my f*ckin' cord. Give me my f*ckin' cord. I just wanna rape the f*ckin' c*nt.

You f*ckin' goddamn Providence f*ckin' c*nt! How the f*ck can I rape you when you're all f*ckin' standing in the f*ckin' back? I wanna rape you! You f*ckin' c*nt!

[indistinct shouting and jeering from the audience]

You suck my f*ckin' c*ck, you f*ckin' big motherf*ckin' overgrown f*ckin' big di*k. If you guys... you don't even beat off, so f*ck you. You want to rape every girl in this f*ckin' club, and you know it. And you're f*ckin' bullsh*t!

[more shouting from the audience]

Yeah, well I wanna f*ckin' rape, and I want to abuse young girls. You don't like it, get the f*ck out of here.

[more shouting from the audience]

Okay, you do whatever you want, and come up here and challenge me, motherf*cker. You wanna do it right now? I'm ready. You come up here, you take your f*ckin' coat off, and I'll have you a goddamn slug-out. We'll clear the floor. You want to do that? Do you want to do that? I'll do it. You want to do it? You say yes or no, don't just spit on yourself.

Yeah, 'cuz you're a goddamn f*ckin' pus*y. Yeah, pus*y! You don't wanna rape no girl, you don't f*ckin' beat off, you're a goddamn f*ckin' pus*y. Get the f*ck out of my face, f*ckface.

Yeah. Oh yeah, you're good too. I'll come out there, I'll punch your face in. Believe it.

Okay. We need... we... wait, wait. We need the girls. We need the girls for this one.

[audience member: "He stole my beer!"]
Which mother... so, then you go kick the sh*t out of him. You owe this motherf*cker a beer.

Hey, we got some girls! Okay, okay! This is not your average show, right? You've got to sit around, you're gonna do what we're gonna do. We've got these girls. We've got these girls. They're called The Sc*mettes, and they're very, very beautiful. And this is not rehearsed, believe me. I met them tonight, I offered to buy their underwear, they sold it to me. They're good enough...

So... okay, listen, listen. Everybody back. Everybody back again. Back. Everybody back. We're gonna do that. These girls are The Sc*mettes.

Look at that, I've got real blood, man! Real blood. It's not King Kong Bundy, it's GG f*ckface. I'm not no f*ckin' wrestler. I [?]. I like to beat off and f*ck myself, and I'm a total sc*mfuc. And I don't give a f*ck about music, I don't give a f*ck about you, I don't give a f*ck about nothin' but drink, fight, and f*ck.

And it's not no bullsh*t. I'm not Billy Graham. I don't give a f*ck about your goddamn money. You buy me a goddamn drink... motherf*cker's gonna die, right here.

[audience member: "f*ck you!"]

Come on, f*ckface. Yeah, what do you wanna do, two-on-one? Three-on-one? Let's do two-on-two. Two-on-two. Donnie, let's go, two-on-two. Take care of him? Wanna take care of him? Let's go.

Keep the girls up here. Keep the girls...

[indistinct chatter from backstage]

No, they're gonna use my mic.

Two-on-two. You want to do it? You want to do it, Donnie?

Hey, are we gonna get paid? Are we gonna get paid if we fight these guys, or what? I want to hear from the manager; we need the money. It's up to him. If he says we're gettin' paid, we'll go for you. Hey, you wait here. You wait here. You wait. We'll go two-on-two.

[indistinct shouting from the audience]
It's up to the management, because I need the money.

[voice from backstage: "Any fights, no payment."]

Any fights, no payment. So I can't fight you. You kick the sh*t out of me, and I'll kick the sh*t out of you, and it'll be an informal thing. Of course you're gonna gang up, because you're pussies.

[indistinct response from the audience]

We will. We will, though. It's two-on-two. But the management won't pay us, and believe me, we need the f*ckin' money.

[indistinct shouting from the audience]

Because we've got a long set. We've only done three songs, been a half an hour.

Okay, now this is an experiment. [?] gotta know one thing. Okay, everybody quiet down. Gotta know one thing. Does anybody... seriously. Does anybody have any drugs? I mean, we'll pay for it after the show, but we want it now. You'll get... yeah, you give me the finger, motherf*cker, but you're a f*ckin' fat f*ckin' as*h*le.

[indistinct shouting from the audience]

I'll do whatever I wanna f*ckin' do. But does anybody have any, any... I mean, we'll smoke a joint between all of us. I don't care, I'll pass it around to every motherf*cker here. Because it don't f*ckin' matter. There is no law, no authority, do what the f*ck you want to do.

I mean, look at these two fine young girls we've got up here. I'm gonna... they're gonna sell me their underwear so I can beat off for the next two weeks, and all they've got to do is sing this song. And they don't even know what the f*ck they're doing!

And we've got... the drummer back here is so excited. I don't want to say anything, but his girlfriend's out there. And he's getting a hard-on just thinking about it!

I'm gonna suck your c*ck later. You know what I really wish I could do, though? I really wish I could take a sh*t on you.
Take a picture of me, baby. Take a picture of that small c*ck, close up. You don't even need binoculars. But you need binoculars if you're standing out back. But my di*k... this is it. It's so small, but when I beat off, it still f*ckin' spits. And I'm not ashamed to say that motherf*cker is like God to me. You ever heard of a band called the Pee Wee di*ks? They're my children.

Okay, we're gonna do "sl*ts in the City", and you know what? This is a song that we can't play at all... doin' it anyway.