Embassy Lament lyrics

[CIVIL SERVANTS]
Oh my dear, how boring, he's defecting
Just like all the others, he's expecting
Us to be impressed with what he's done here
But he
Hasn't stopped to think about the paperwork
His gesture causes
We've an embassy to run here

If these people can't strike blows for freedom
With a valid visa, we don't need 'em
If we seem offhand then please remember
This is nothing very special
He's the fourth we've had since last November
Who do these foreign chappies think they are?

[CIVIL SERVANT #1]
And when he's safely in the West
He'll be the subject to discuss
The media will lionize him
Fame and fortune plus

[CIVIL SERVANTS]
No one will recall it's thanks to us

[CIVIL SERVANT #1, spoken]
You have a wife?
[ANATOLY, spoken]
Yes

[CIVIL SERVANT #3, spoken]
You have two children?

[ANATOLY, spoken]
Yes

[CIVIL SERVANT #2, spoken]
And they're not coming with you?

[ANATOLY, spoken]
No, not for the moment

[CIVIL SERVANT #4, spoken]
You play chess. You are good at it?

[CIVIL SERVANT #3 whispers in #4's ear.]

[CIVIL SERVANT #4, spoken]
Oh. I hear you're world champion

[ANATOLY, spoken]
Since yesterday
[CIVIL SERVANTS, spoken]
That's still good

[CIVIL SERVANTS]
Have you an appointment with the consul?
If you don't we know what his response'll
Be, he will not see you, with respect it
Buggers up his very taxing schedule
Pushing peace and understanding
Let us hope this won't affect it

Far too many jokers cross the border
Not a single doc*ment in order
Russia must be empty
Though we're all for
Basic human rights it makes you wonder
What they built the Berlin Wall for—
Who do these foreign chappies think they are?

And when you've filled in all the forms
And been passed clear of all disease
Debriefed, debugged, de-drugged, disarmed
And disinfected, please
Don't forget the guys who cut your keys