Hard Love Quest lyrics

Here you see, a sad and lonesome Christian C.
Without girlfriend love he feels an older age,
as he is still “Stuck as a virgin with rage.”
He search low and high to the end,
the only delay is the fear of being already beaten by a BOYFRIEND.
Why do all the girls have to be already taken… a real shame,
boyfriends of all girls of possible matches for me are really LAME.
As I sit and sigh,
I watch the girls go by.
Afraid of a lame intersecption,
I sit out in the open without hesitation.
Matching Girl descriptions are free,
I wish one girl would notice and approach me.
It would be way past cool, per-say, [sic]
if I could get a girlfriend by Valentine’s Day.
But for now as you see,
I am a sad and lonesome “C.”