I’ve Been a Bad Boy lyrics

I've been a bad boy this year
I'm not gonna get any Christmas gift
Santa's rules are very clear
I get a lump o' coal on the 25th
My stocking won't contain
No treat or candy cane
You see a bad boy, right here
Santa will skip me on this year's shift

[Okay, listen now...]

You'll get no trip to Spain
If you're crawling in the fast lane

No winter coat for you
If you p*ss beside the loo

[Let's kick it up a notch, shall we?]

Forget about that laptop case
If you drew a big di*k on your sleeping friend's face

(Ain't that the truth?)

You'll get no bottle of wine
If you cheat when you play online
That's just wrong, and you know it you bast*rds!

I've been a bad boy this year
I'm not gonna get any Christmas gift
Santa's rules are very clear
I get a lump o' coal on the 25th
My stocking won't contain
No treat or candy cane
You see a bad boy, right here
Santa will skip me on this year's shift

[Alright, hang on...]

You won't get a rock guitar
If you robbed an armored car

You'll get no pajama dress
If you work for the IRS

[Yeah, that escalated quickly, didn't it? Wait, it gets worse...]

Forget about those poker decks
If you date your best friend's ex

And definitely no watch for you
If you ask a woman when she's due
...and it turns out she just... could use a little exercise...

All together now!

I've been a bad boy this year
I'm not gonna get any Christmas gift
Santa's rules are very clear
I get a lump o' coal on the 25th
My stocking won't contain
No treat or candy cain
You see a bad boy, right here
Santa will skip me on this year's shift
Santa will skip me on this year's shift
Santa will skip me on this year's shift