Absolute c*nt Of A Day lyrics

I've had an absolute c*nt of a day
Everything that could go wrong did go wrong
So if I'm allowed to use the word c*nt in a song
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day

It started as a fart in bed
Well it started as a fart but I sh*t myself instead
And the f*ckin' missus going off her f*ckin' head
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day

And running to the dunny like a bast*rd
Trying to hold it in with me finger up me arse
Skidding past the kids, those little c*nts laughing
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day

I've had an absolute c*nt of a day
Everything that could go wrong did go wrong
So if I'm allowed to use the word c*nt in a song
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day

No hot water so I had to take a cold shower
Scrubbing sh*t from every orifice which took a f*ckin' hour
Then f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, no f*ckin' towel
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day

Pulling on my jeans and tripped
Broke me f*ckin' nose and split my f*ckin' lip
Got me c*ck caught in me f*ckin' zip
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day
Everything that could go wrong did go wrong
So if I'm allowed to use the word c*nt in a song
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day

Then driving myself to doctors
Busted and bleeding, c*ck swollen and f*ckin' throbbing
Not a good time to be stopped by the cops
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day

The bast*rds didn't even let me explain
Just cuffed me up and hauled me off to jail
No f*ckin' phone call no f*ckin' bail
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day

I've had an absolute c*nt of a day
Everything that could go wrong did go wrong
So if I'm allowed to use the word c*nt in a song
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day

So your honour that's how it is
That's exactly how it started and how it ended all up here
And you f*ckin' lot laughing ain't making it too easy
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day

I'm in too much pain to plead
And I don't give a f*ck if you don't believe me
Just take me out the back and f*ckin' shoot me please
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day
Everything that could go wrong did go wrong
So if I'm allowed to use the word c*nt in a song
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day
I've had an absolute c*nt of a day
Just another one of them
Absolute c*nt of a day