Nobody Spunks Up A c*nt Anymore lyrics

Life is so different since I was a kid
Kids stay indoors, they don’t do what we did
Like football, conkers and grazing your knee
Now it’s all FIFA 16 and Virtua-Conkers 3
The world is so different in so many ways
Like, your Marathon is called a Snickers these days
You can’t halt progress, I wouldn’t want to stop change
But there’s one aspect of modern life that I find so strange

Nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore
Nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore
It’s like the world has forgotten what a fanny is for
Cos nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore

On the internet c*cks are spaffing everyhere
On ladies’ faces and all in their hair
On their knockers their bumholes and all up their back
Anywhere but a beaver blokes are blowing their stack

Cos
Nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore
Nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore
They’d all rather dump their load round the back door
Cos nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore

Nobody spunks (spunks – spunks) up a c*nt
Nobody spunks (spunks – spunks) up a c*nt
Clearly vaginas are a bit of a bore
Cos nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore
It looks like society is on a mission
To make obselete this age old tradition
But I guess one blessing that can’t be denied:
At least teenage pregnancy’s on the slide

Cos
Nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore
Nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore
They spray faces and titties and arseholes galore
But nobody spunks up a c*nt anymore