Political Correctness Gone Mad lyrics

You can’t lock your kids in the cupboard anymore
Even if it’s for their own good
You can’t give your wife a little dig anymore
Even if she’s burnt the Yorkshire pud
They stopped me from having me peanuts on a plane
Cos some c*nt with a nut allergy decided to complain
I’m on the sex offender’s register for wanking in the park
It’s political correctness gone mad

It’s political correctness gone mad
It’s political correctness gone mad
You can’t hit your sprog
You’re not allowed to f*ck your dog
It’s political correctness gone mad

Blackboard – now it’s called a chalk board
Manhole – Maintenance hole
Christmas – Winter festival
Spotted di*k – Spotted Richard
Milkman – Dairy goods delivery person
Blind – Visually challenged
Easter eggs – Spring spheres
Fanny fart – Accidental vaginal air emission

You can’t smack a bird on the bottom any more
Even if she’s bent over a desk
I got thrown out of a club the other night
For shouting “get your c*nt out” at the burlesque
The barmy Brussels eurocrats are something that I hate
Telling us that our bananas have to be dead straight
You can’t lean off a ladder to touch up a bit of paint
It’s political correctness gone mad
It’s political correctness gone mad
It’s political correctness gone mad
It’s all gone too far when
You can’t wank in your car
It’s political correctness gone mad

It’s political correctness gone mad
It’s political correctness gone mad
You can’t go for a chinky
Or spike a lady’s drinky
It’s political correctness gone mad