Female Referee (Sexist Version) lyrics

I was seeing this bird from Benfleet
Things were going swell
Then one day I got home from the pub
And she dropped a bombshell
My dinner wasn't ready
There was nothing to eat for me
She said she'd enrolled on a fast track course
To be a female referee

Female referee, female referee
I'm sure one time I saw one
Reffing snooker on tv
I don’t remember any flashpoints
But how hard can it be?
There's no judgement calls
With snooker balls
For a female referee

I tried to act supportive
And pay her compliments
I tried to show her the offside rule
With the help of condiments
But one day I came home
p*ssed up from the pub
My dinner wasn't ready
There was no sign of my grub
Female referee, female referee
Put that f*cking whistle down
And go and make my tea
I've been down the boozer
With my mates since half past three
It got too much, I kicked her into touch
The female referee

We'd been split up about 6 months
I thought of her from time to time
Then one day I turned on sky
And I saw her running the line
The commentators made some sexist remarks
And soon they got dismissed
And what’s worse I've got no one to cook my grub
When I roll in p*ssed

Female referee female referee
Chuck that f*cking flag away
And please come back to me
I was at my lowest ebb
When I heard you got fingered by Howard Webb
But I'll let it slide if you decide
To stop being a female referee